


PRETTYMUCH Oneshots

by anothergirlinlove (ObsessedWithBands), ObsessedWithBands



Category: PRETTYMUCH (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternative Universe - No PRETTYMUCH, Alternative Universe - Same Age, Anal Sex, Bedroom Sex, Boys Kissing, Chair Sex, Cute Ending, Dominant Nick, Drunk Sex, Eventual Romance, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, Fluff and Smut, French Kissing, Friendship/Love, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Hair Kink, Hair-pulling, Hot Sex, Love Bites, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Making Out, Male Solo, Mild Sexual Content, Mild Smut, Mpreg, Neck Kissing, Prettymuch - Freeform, Riding, Romance, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Sensory Deprivation, Sexual Content, Smut, Submissive Nick, Teasing, Teen Romance, dominant austin, dominant brandon, dominant edwin, dominant zion, submissive austin, submissive brandon, submissive edwin, submissive zion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 08:43:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 31,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17763548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsessedWithBands/pseuds/anothergirlinlove, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsessedWithBands/pseuds/ObsessedWithBands
Summary: smut*. fluff. both. anything between certain band members from PRETTYMUCH...maybe including you, too.REQUESTS ARE CONSIDERED, greatly appreciated :) COMMENT them please :))brion. zedwin. zaustin. nion. brick. edwick. naustin.braustin. austwin. bredwin. zion and you. brandon and you.edwin and you. austin and you.nick and you.





	1. valentine's day*: zion and you

you.

i've always known that zion had things up his sleeve.

whether he was simply trying to make me laugh, or make me smile...

he always knew the right things to do.

especially when it was valentine's day.

as soon as i walked into our shared apartment, i couldn't help but blush.

a huge victoria's secret bag was sitting on top of the couch...and zion was nowhere to be found.

"zy?" i called throughout the silent apartment.

our apartment wasn't even a big one...but he could be anywhere.

usually, when i went home from college, he'd be on the couch watching tv or sitting at his desk and doing homework.

but today was different.

"babe? are you home already?" my boyfriend's voice called throughout the apartment.

and there he was.

"what the actual fuck..." i laughed, covering my mouth with my hands.

zion stepped out of his room wearing a full-on suit, but his bowtie wasn't tied.

in a way, it made him look even hotter.

"why are you--" i couldn't finish my sentence.

zion was smiling at me with the most genuine smile he's ever had before.

"it's our first valentine's day together...and you know what that means." zion laughed, clasping his hands behind his back and stepping towards me.

i saw something different in the way he looked at me.

right there and then.

"what does that mean?"

i stepped closer, swaying my hips playfully and placing my arms around his broad shoulders.

i looked up into his eyes, biting my bottom lip almost teasingly.

zion looked from my eyes to my mouth, then back.

"that means...i can do whatever i want for you today." zion smirked.

i raised my eyebrows, trying to hide the fact that his sentence made me weak at the knees.

"and...what are you gonna do?"

"oh, i dunno. i am, in fact, a person who wings it all the time. i'll think of something. and...besides the presents i bought you from VS." zion replied, wrapping his strong arms around my waist and picking me up effortlessly.

i laughed, closing my eyes and kissing him on the cheek while he walked into his room.

he put me on his bed, stepping back and letting me enjoy the view.

he tapped his right foot playfully, humming in thought.

"what's that song you were singing the other day? the one that i sang with you? it was something sexual...right?" he asked, a bright smile on his face.

he tilted his head, his hair falling onto one side.

at times he was like a little puppy.

but the coolest thing was that he was _my_ little puppy. :)

"what, 'body party' by ciara?" i answered, placing my hands on either side of the bed, leaning back and smiling at my boyfriend.

"yeah, i think that's the one." zion replied.

soundlessly, he grabbed his cell from his suit jacket's pocket and connected it to his bluetooth speaker, and then the song began to play.

i giggled, wondering what he was gonna do.

zion stepped back in front of me, ruffling his hair and letting his smile get bigger the longer he stared at me.

"it's...kinda hot in here, don't you think?" he whispered, tugging off his already undone bowtie, and letting it fall to the floor.

my cheeks grew hot as i looked him over, from his face down to the floor.

"what are you even doing, zy..." i kept on laughing.

i had no idea what he was going to do...but if he kept on taking off things, i know i'd like it.

"dang, i need to wash this...but i'll put this in the washer later..." zion's humorous voice trailed off as he slowly unbuttoned his white collared shirt under his black suit jacket.

"are you sure you don't want me to help you?" i laughed, tilting my head while i looked at him.

"naw, babe, this is for you."

zion had such a playful smile...but as the seconds passed, it turned into something different.

i watched in silence as zion slowly pulled off his jacket and shirt, carelessly letting them fall to the floor.

the song played in the background, but all i could focus on was him.

he stepped close to me, placing both his hands on either side of the bed, over my own hands.

just a few minutes before, he was talking so casually.

but now...all we could hear was the music.

and even that was fading away.

zion closed his eyes in front of me and leaned closer, pressing his lips to mine.

i wanted to wrap my arms around his neck, but he kept my hands pinned down with his own.

his lips traced a line from my cheek to my neck, and i tilted my head so he could continue.

we've only done it once.

but right now...

at this moment...

i knew we were going to do it a second time.

and maybe even a third.

his lips continued to work their way down from the bottom of my ear down to where my shoulder began.

zion always knew the right places to kiss--that would make me weak.

by then, i wasn't able to keep my eyes open.

all i could feel was his constant kisses on my skin.

but then there was nothing.

my eyes opened, and i snapped out of my trance.

zion's smiling face stared at me, and he moved back a little bit.

his hands slid down to my waist, one of his fingers touching the skin under my shirt.

with his left hand, he pulled down my jean zipper, and with his right, he brushed his fingers through my hair.

the boy really knew how to put a spell on me.

"now...don't get too eager, babe..." zion whispered in my ear, making me close my eyes again.

"i haven't even gotten to the best part yet."

letting my other senses tell me what was happening, i kept my eyes closed.

light kisses were placed on my lips, and i felt zion pull my jeans down and off ever so slowly.

i kept my hands on the bed, because they were just about the only things keeping me from falling back onto the comforter--i felt so weak.

both of zion's hands gripped my waist, gently brushing over my hips.

the song was still playing.

i opened my eyes.

zion only had his dress pants on.

seeing his bare chest wanted me to run my fingers all over his skin, and kiss him everywhere.

but something stopped me.

i wanted to see what happened next.

moving to the music, zion came closer to me and placed his hands on my knees.

he spread my legs apart, making me blush really hard. but, a smile stayed on my face...and his.

his eyes stayed in contact with mine.

the way he looked at me...

...made me realize that he was serious. that he didn't want to laugh and be relaxed.

he wanted me.

and he wanted me _now_.

"zion," my voice cracked when i whispered his name.

his eyes narrowed, and he moved even closer.

and, moving to the music, he started grinding on me.

right where i liked it.

my arms appeared around his neck, and i leaned my head back.

he was right _there. right there. yes, at that right spot._

"fuck, babe," i laughed softly, biting my lip.

he was right on the rhythm, basically giving me the guy version of a fucking lap dance.

"what the actual _fuck_." i smiled, staring right at him.

zion smirked back at me, knowing what he was doing to me.

he hummed the music under his breath, and i bit my lip.

the fact that he was such a talented guy always made me happy...especially when he'd constantly sing to me whenever he got the chance.

he increased the pressure, still to the rhythm of the song...and i almost let out a moan.

"ah, fuck," i cursed loudly, digging my fingers into his shoulders.

zion smirked, moving back slowly and continuing to dance for me, like how he always does when he sings sexual songs.

enough to make me be quiet and watch.

"too much?" he growled, his deep voice making me stare at him even harder.

he was almost _too_ sexy for me.

almost.

"no...it's just..." my voice trailed off.

"not enough." i said, a small smile sneaking onto my face.

zion smiled down at me and then knelt in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

i brushed my fingers through his dreadlocks, looking down and kissing his forehead.

"i know, i know." zion whispered.

the song stopped.

complete silence.

"now..." he continued.

i tilted my head, wondering what he was going to say.

"should i get to the best part?" he raised an eyebrow at me, a huge smile on his face once again.

i laughed as he stood up, his arms sliding around my body and moving me so we were fully on the bed.

i continued to smile as zion pulled off his dress pants.

he placed more kisses on my neck...but then i moved so his face was parallel to mine.

i put my hands on his cheeks and held his face so that i could kiss him longer.

his arms were still wrapped around me, and i felt like i was at home.

 _he's_ my home.

under the sheets now, we were so close together.

zion pulled off his boxers before i could even blink, which almost made me laugh out loud.

he wanted me as much as i did him.

i instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist, and then he pushed into me.

zion was on top of me, pressing our lips together.

i pressed my head into the pillows, closing my eyes tightly.

he always knew the right things to do.

he always knew what i liked.

and i did what he liked.

i moved my fingers through his hair and pulled, making him close his eyes while he thrusted in and out of me.

a loud groan came from his throat, and hearing him make those sounds drove me crazy.

watching his face and his reactions during this time always drove me crazy.

my thoughts were just a blur by now.

i wasn't able to focus on anything but how good he made me feel.

but just like that...it was over.

it always starts and ends quickly.

but then again...

the best part isn't actually doing it with the love of my life.

the best part is laying in bed with him after...

when i could brush my fingers through his hair...

when i could kiss him softly...

and when i could fall asleep with zion's arms wrapped around me like he'd never let go.


	2. heartbreak*: brandon and zion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "unbeta-ed, please be kind." - cloudsNcoffee
> 
> i should really use that quote more. lol  
> every time i post something i never really edit it, i just hope there's no mistakes haha

brandon.

there are times when i look over at him, and i have to restrain myself from doing something embarrassing.

and then there are _those_ times...when i can't help myself.

but then there was _this_ time.

all he was doing was walking in front of me, but then his hand went through his hair.

his other hand was tucked in his pocket, and he swiped his tongue across his bottom lip.

zion had just eaten ice cream, and there was still some ice cream on his lips.

it's like my vision was extremely sharp from then on.

it's like if he didn't stop licking the ice cream off his lips...

...i don't even know how i'm gonna respond.

thank god the guys decided to leave the room and get out.

and it was just us.

the first thing that came out of my mouth was a soft, yet stressed 'fuck'.

zion's head snapped towards me, his eyes giving me a quizzical stare.

"whassup, bro?" he replied, his deep voice resonating.

even my hearing was sharp.

all the notes of his voice hit me until i was a heavy breathing mess on the couch.

i, for one, thought i was playing it cool.

i had both hands in my pockets, i was staring somewhere else, anywhere else other than zion...

but my mind was so in control.

it was so obvious.

and he _noticed_.

i haven't even replied to his question yet, i kept on pressing my lips closed.

what the fuck would happen if i opened them?

zion fell onto the couch beside me, putting his feet up next to him and making the whole fucking couch move.

"fuck, bro," i let out, my voice slightly above a whisper.

"my baaaad, my bad." zion laughed, taking his phone out and going onto--i don't fucking care what app he's going onto.

my mind was starting to go crazy.

he doesn't even know i'm gay. he doesn't know how i feel about him. how i've always felt about him.

should i just wing it and let my mind take over?

will this ruin our friendship--well, it obviously will, i just hope it doesn't ruin it in an awkward way.

but i want to do so many things to him.

when he wears a hoodie, i just wanna hug him. when he wears a suit on a rare occasion, i question myself because i like him with a suit--and without one.

and he's right here, sitting on the couch, alone with me. i don't even know if the guys are gonna come back into the room.

this'll definitely be a risk.

and, now that i think about it...

...it's a risk worth taking.

i wanna see what will actually happen.

i reached out a hand toward's zion's shoulder, playfully tugging his shirt sleeve.

he turned his head toward's me, and i let my eyes do the talking.

now...i was actually playing it cool.

i looked at his hair, first. then i looked down, then up into his gorgeous brown eyes.

i looked over the rim of my glasses at his lips...then back at his eyes. then at his shoulder.

then i moved closer, sitting up on the couch and turning so i faced him head on.

the most shocking thing in my life happened next.

he swiped his tongue over his bottom lip once again, and he stared back into my eyes.

"what are...you doing..." his voice was suddenly quiet as fuck.

the whole room was quiet. extremely silent.

he turned off his phone and set it aside on the couch.

_is this actually happening, right before my eyes?_

i bit my bottom lip. and i heard him take a rattled, deep breath.

this can't be real.

"b-brandon," his voice sounded groggy, like the way it sounded in the morning. that turned me on even more.

"zion..." my voice trailed off, and i sat up even more.

zion turned to face me all the way, i slid my one hand that was on him closer to his collar.

my fingers gently grazed the nape of his neck, and i tucked one finger under his shirt. then i let my hand fall back onto his shoulder.

he blinked at me, once, twice.

my eyes asked him if i could go on. i didn't know what to say...so i just let my actions speak louder than my words ever could.

he moved so he was sitting closer to me, and i read his action as a green light.

i had one hand on his shoulder, and my other hand on his knee.

my eyes kept darting to his eyes, then his lips.

i wasn't fully conscious about all of my movements by then.

 _i want you_.

my right hand immediately clamped over my mouth.

and i heard a laugh from zion.

he looked at me with the most genuine smile i've ever seen in my life, and then, in a few seconds, he leaned close to me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

i found the strength to press my chest against his, even though we were still sitting a few feet apart.

i was literally leaning into him while his arms wrapped tightly around me.

our faces were a few inches apart.

dangerously close.

and then i felt his soft, perfect lips press onto mine.

it was like a fucking cloud was kissing me, not an actual person.

i closed my eyes, but then i opened them again. i know it was 'against the rules of kissing to open your eyes', but i did anyway.

this was the closest we've ever been--physically. and i wanted more.

my lips moved against his.

my lips parted. i needed to get closer.

i moved my hand up, into his hair. i pulled lightly, with the right amount of force.

his head tilted closer to mine, and i finally closed my eyes again.

all of my senses were focused on the kiss.

all i could feel was him, his lips moving with mine, his head tilting so we could be even closer.

then i felt his arms, pulling me in tighter.

i didn't know what i was doing, but...i swiped my tongue across his bottom lip. i was finally able to do that myself.

the taste of chocolate ice cream appeared on my tongue.

his lips parted.

our tongues explored each other's mouths, and i _still_ couldn't get enough.

i felt high--my mind was fuzzy, and i couldn't focus on _anything at all_.

then his hand slipped under my shirt, and my thoughts fell into place.

his hand was warm, moving and stopping to hold the side of my waist.

i moved away from him to get air, but he interpreted my action as a red light.

he moved his hand away and took a deep breath, closing his eyes.

"no, it's okay." i replied, leaning close and kissing his cheek until he opened his beautiful eyes again.

i could get lost in them any time of day.

his eyes were open, so i decided to open mine too.

i pressed my lips to his neck, watching his reaction. i placed my hand on the opposite side of his neck, the side i wasn't kissing.

he tilted his head to the side to let me have more space while i did the work.

i kissed a line from his shoulder to the skin under his ear, and then i heard the sweetest sound.

zion let out a deep moan.

my eyes screwed shut, my emotions rushing throughout my body.

"that _sound_..." i groaned, mumbling against his skin. zion laughed silently, but it was clear his focus stayed entirely on me and what i was doing to him.

"fuuuck," he breathed, biting his lip and letting out another moan.

i continued to kiss his neck, occasionally leaving small love bites.

i licked stripes up his neck, making his sense of touch stronger with every kiss.

"i love what you're doing to me," zion whispered, moving away so he could look me right in the eyes.

"you don't know how long i've been waiting to do this to you." i replied, showing him how courageous i was to say what was on my mind.

his adorable yet sexy smile that always had the power to make me melt creeped up on his face, and i kissed him once again.

"how long have you known, though?" zion asked. that was the question i was actually ready for.

"i've known ever since you came into my life. i've wanted to be with you for so long...i just didn't have the balls to tell you." i said bluntly, brushing my hand down his shoulder and staring through him.

"how long have... _you_ known?" i asked him. zion shrugged, ever so slowly.

zion leaned close and pressed his lips to my chin, then down to my neck.

my fingers naturally ended up in his hair, guiding his head so he knew where i wanted him to kiss me.

"i've always wanted... _you_." zion mumbled against me, a delicate vibration against my skin.

i closed my eyes tightly, letting out a groan. i immediately bit my lip, trying to keep my cool...

...but it seemed like zion loved it when i wasn't able to.

and we haven't even taken off any piece of clothing yet.

with one hand, i took off my glasses.

and with my other, i undid my belt and then pulled it off.

both items fell to the floor, but at that time, i didn't care for either of them.

"someone might come in here." zion said, catching on. i nodded, staring at his lips.

they were all i could think of. i wanted him on me. right now.

so i stood up, reached out to his hand, grabbed it with mine, and pulled him eagerly into the closest open room with a lockable door.

at that moment, who in the world fucking cared if there was no bed in here? i know i didn't.

i just needed zion.

and then things started to get really messy. in a good way.

i pushed him against the door as soon as it was closed and locked, and my hands immediately found the hem of his shirt. i pulled it up, watching him lift his arms up and then grab his shirt from me.

he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me, letting the shirt fall to the floor. i hooked my fingers through his belt loops, pulling him as close to me as possible.

i didn't know what to do with my hands, but doing that felt right.

then i took off my shirt. it was obviously starting to get hella fucking hot in that small room.

and another thing...we hadn't even turned on the light, so it was all dark.

all we could hear was panting and heavy breathing...and sloppy kiss sounds.

i raised my eyebrows towards zion in the dark, because i'd felt something when i pressed my body against his.

so--i wasn't the only one feeling hella turned on? i'm glad.

"you're so fucking hot," i heard zion whisper. my heart melted for, like, the fiftieth time since we even started kissing.

"you think that?" i said with a smirk. zion replied by holding me even closer.

"yeah, brandon. first of all, you have the best fucking personality. the fact that you're hot as fuck is simply--a plus." zion said with a smile. i could hear it in his voice.

his deep, seductive voice.

the voice i always hear in my mind during those lonely, sleepless nights.

"tell me why you think i'm so hot." i continued, brushing my fingers over his bare chest while i spoke.

i could tell i said the right thing, because zion gave me a low giggle in return.

"well, for starters...your hair--i've always wondered why so many guys have the same kind of hairstyle. but you...you actually pull it off." zion laughed, his arms tightening around me.

i leaned my head on his chest, a huge smile on my face.

"don't tell nick." zion added. we both laughed.

"why else do you think i'm hot?" i asked.

"every time i see you across the room...fixing your hair, putting on chapstick, for crying out loud...i dunno, even when you're just putting on your glasses? those simple actions make me see you as the hottest person on earth. every time i see you do those simple actions...i just wanna walk across the room, pin you to the fucking wall, and--"

zion stopped talking. i tilted my head, my heart fluttering with emotion.

"and...what?" i urged him to finish his sentence.

"and fuck you into tomorrow." zion finished.

i bit my lip in response to _his_ response, and i found myself reaching down with one hand to touch myself.

hearing him say that made my mind go _more_ crazy than it already was.

i took an exaggerated deep breath, immediately starting to move against zion in order to get at least a little bit of satisfaction.

zion's hands pressed into my waist. it seemed as if he did that out of...nervousness. fear. confusion.

a way of keeping himself in check, maybe?

maybe he felt the same way as me. if i was completely set free to do whatever i wanted to him...i don't know what i'd do.

"you feel so fucking good on me," zion groaned, and i smiled to myself.

in reply, i gave him another kiss.

we slid down to the floor, sitting and facing each other.

i moved so my legs were wrapped around his waist, while i kept grinding down on him.

zion's brown eyes looked up at me, and i realized that we both couldn't wait any longer.

but the strange thing was...i didn't have to say anything in order for him to understand how i felt.

zion hastily undid his jeans, and mine, while pressing his lips to my neck repeatedly.

slowly, i got off of him for a moment and slid my jeans off, watching him do the same.

i wasn't even able to blink before he pushed me onto the floor and grinded down on me.

i wasn't even able to get a sound out before zion's kisses got more sloppy on my neck.

i couldn't help it. my moans got louder.

all the thoughts in my mind were all jumbled into a great big cloud.

"zion, you don't even know what you're doing to me," i whispered, in between deep breaths.

zion hummed against my neck. i put one gentle hand on the back of his head, keeping him there.

by now he knew where my sensitive spots were.

"okay, enough," i breathed, pushing him away and nearly ripping off the waistband of his boxers.

zion gave me a deep laugh, but i knew he wanted me as much as i wanted him.

"do you want me to prep you?" zion groaned in my ear, as silent as possible.

and i swear to fucking god, if he said that after our first kiss, i would have gone hard right then and there.

i was so close to _blacking out_ by now.

"no. i need you. i can't fucking wait anymore." i breathed, my voice coming out as a sob.

who knew he could do this to me.

"me neither." zion said.

then a few minutes later, after our boxers had disappeared in a random ass place in the dark...i felt him go into me.

pain, at first. but when i adjusted...

 _fuck_.

that was the best feeling i've ever had in my entire life.

my back arched like, what, a million times?

every time he thrusted into me, i groaned.

if i had my eyes open, and if the light was on, zion'd probably see my eyes rolling into the back of my head.

he's so _fucking_ good to me.

and i told him how good he felt.

and when it was over...

my life went back to being incomplete.

"that was--the best shit i've ever done." zion mumbled, and i felt him fall to the ground right next to me.

we were, obviously, hella tired.

and i agreed with him.

"now, if only..." my voice trailed off.

my hand found his in the dark, and we held each other's hands so tightly.

"...i know." zion replied.

i looked in the direction of his voice. my heart _hurt_.

"i want this too, but...we both know."

having sex with him was one of the best moments of my life.

it's like our hearts were finally mended...together into one.

it's like we found that person we've been looking for our whole lives, and i knew he felt the same way. i _knew_ it.

but the fact that our relationship would cause so much _shit_ , a lot of drama, a lot of craziness...

the fact that we both knew it couldn't happen...

...was the cause of our hearts breaking.


	3. our sixth sense: nick and edwin

nick.

everyday, after school, we walk home together.

my parents don't suspect a thing.

ever since we were in kindergarten, we've been the bestest of friends.

and it developed into something more.

so when edwin walked into my house, and waved hi to my parents, and then we walked into my bedroom to 'start on homework'...

...we already knew that might turn into a lie.

edwin sat down on the edge of my bed, pulling off his shirt and looking at me up and down.

"babe, that was probably the hottest fuckin' day of the week." he laughed, reaching towards me and grabbing my tie.

today i had a presentation in history, and i had to show up to school in a full-on suit. i've always hated wearing suits, and the fact that today was indeed the hottest day of the week didn't help at all.

but, edwin's always wanted me to wear one because he has a soft spot for guys in suits.

he pulled me close to him, wrapping his hand in my tie until our faces were only a few inches away.

"you're the sexiest thing i've ever seen in my life." he whispered.

i smiled, pulling my bottom lip into my mouth and biting. his voice always made my mind race.

"and you're going into this _way_ too fast." i teased, noticing how eager edwin was. he laughed and shook his head.

before he got the chance to say anything else, though, i moved away from him and undid my tie.

although my mind had already started to focus on something else, what i really wanted to do with edwin right now was relax on my bed.

i pulled off my tie and my suit jacket, throwing them on the floor. when edwin's in my room, i don't care about anything else.

"what i was thinking...is that we could just chill." i smiled, unbuttoning my collared shirt and adding it to the growing clothes pile.

edwin tilted his head, and the slightest hint of sadness left his face. he gave me the brightest and cutest smile, reaching out to hold my hand.

i let him pull me close to him very slowly, and i lay down on the bed right next to him.

he turned his head towards me, his black curls falling over his forehead in the most amazing way in the world.

every small thing about his looks and his personality makes me feel so happy, my love for him is crazy.

i placed my hand on his cheek, then brushed my fingers through his hair and repeatedly moved his curls backwards off his face.

edwin wrapped his arms around my waist comfortably, as if the space between my waist and my arms were meant for him to touch.

every time i looked at edwin, all i wanted to do was touch him: touch his face, his arms, his waist...i could never get enough.

when we finally knew what our relationship meant to us, my heart finally pieced together when i also realized that he was all mine.

his brown, smiling eyes were mine to stare into. his hands were mine to hold, to kiss, to feel.

his lips were mine to kiss, whenever i wanted.

i was so deeply in love.

edwin moved even closer to me so his chest was pressed against mine, and my skin immediately grew warmer because of his touch.

every time he touches me--it's crazy. it's as if my senses grow powerful, wherever his fingers touch, wherever our skin comes in contact.

if someone asked me to describe my love towards him...i'd be speechless. i could only define it when i'm with him.

and...

when he looks at me this way, like how he's looking at me right now...

i find the perfect definition of our love.

a noun.

a whole universe of descriptions.

our sixth sense.


	4. a royal battle*: brandon and you

you.

"babe, play me in a battle royale!" brandon exclaimed, wrapping one strong arm around my waist and pulling me close to him and laughing.

"who are you, zion?" i laughed in reply, accentuating the name. zion, sitting on the couch across the room, snapped his head up from his phone.

"yeah?" he said. i shook my head, showing him i wasn't calling him.

"brandon here wants to play fortnite with me. zy, he's trying to overthrow you." i smirked, looking at my boyfriend and staring him down.

brandon leaned his head on my chest, his arm still locked around my waist.

zion flipped brandon off playfully, sticking his tongue out, going back to his phone and putting in his airpods.

brandon, who was sitting in front of a laptop like always, turned on fortnite and started to play with some online people, but i had another idea.

"you know, brandon..." my voice trailed off into a whisper, from loud to extremely soft. he glanced at me, his mind half on the game and half on what i said.

zion was usually the one playing the game while brandon was producing or listening to music, not the other way around. this wasn't the usual thing to see in the prettymuch crib.

"what, babe?" he asked, his eyes stuck on the screen. i slid my hand through his hair, causing him to glance at me again.

"we could do something else, rather than playing fortnite..." i said, my voice now stuck in a whisper. if zion heard, me and brandon wouldn't hear anything other than constant teasing from him in the next few weeks.

"what'd you wanna...do?" he asked, repeatedly hitting buttons on his control and shooting a player onscreen.

i laughed, dropping my hand onto his shoulder.

he was wearing a supreme collared shirt, and i took delight in sliding my hand around his neck.

"hmm...maybe we could hang out somewhere else in the house? i'm pretty sure zion'd like it if you let him use the laptop for a moment. you guys' roles are weirdly switched right now...it's kinda making me nervous." i laughed again, my voice all innocent.

"what can i say, babe? he got me to play it once and now i'm kind of into it." he laughed back, looking at me and placing a kiss on my cheek.

there. i _almost_ got him.

i glanced at zion, who was busy lip-syncing to his beats, and then lowered my face closer to brandon's neck.

i placed my lips on his skin, slowly moving them up and down his neck.

brandon flinched under my touch, and i heard the sound of clicking buttons get a little bit slower.

i smiled and closed my eyes, continuing to kiss his neck. i left small bite marks, licking the spot after each bite and kissing them repeatedly.

i heard a small giggle, and out of the corner of my eye, i saw the heel of zion's foot going out the door. i giggled too, and kissed the edge of brandon's ear.

i moved away just enough to see him staring at me with squinted eyes, wordlessly telling me that i finally got his full attention.

my other hand rested on his cheek, and my lips still moved on the skin of his neck.

he tilted his head to give me more space, and my mind raced when i heard his breathing get more raspy.

whenever i hear him or see him even the slightest bit aroused, i get turned on in a snap.

i blushed because of my thoughts, dragging my bottom lip against his skin and making him throw his head back.

i picked up the fallen game control that was on his lap and placed it on the desk in front of him, then wrapped my arms around his neck.

with one slow movement, i ended up straddling his lap kissing his mouth fully as soon as i could.

brandon's hands gripped my waist tightly, and i could tell his pants were starting to feel tight because of him shifting uncomfortably.

i closed my eyes and began to move against him, grinding against him with slow and careful movements.

his hands began to urge me to move faster, pushing my waist back and forth while i moved.

while i moved, i continued to kiss his neck and bite, smiling like a fool.

brandon continued to let out sharp inhales and loud exhales, and that was the reason why i smiled...he was doing that because of me.

i was making him feel good.

"you like that, baby?" i whispered in his ear, and that only made him harder. i felt him through his jeans, the pressure going through to my crotch.

i bit my bottom lip, staring down at my extremely sexy boyfriend whose eyes were starting to get clouded with lust and ecstasy.

"y-yes," he choked out, blushing because of the way he answered me.

he lifted up one side of my hair so he could get access to my neck, and then he pulled me closer.

when i felt his soft lips touch my skin, i bit down harshly on my lip and immediately moved the opposite way so he could have more space to kiss me.

" _fuck_ ," i whispered, letting out a moan as soon as he started sucking on my neck.

we both knew that we both liked neck kisses and love bites, and i could tell that we also liked seeing each other's reactions to them.

"mm, yes, keep doing that baby," i murmured, letting out several moans while he put himself to work on my neck.

i gripped his dark locks while he kissed me, gently pushing his head closer to me so he knew to continue what he was doing to me.

one of his hands were still on my waist, but his other was moving down to my jean pockets. he tucked his hand into my pocket and squeezed, making my hand that was clutching his hair grip even tighter.

"you make me feel so good," brandon whispered to me, and i began to grind down even harder on his lap.

by now, we were in another world...our minds were full of ideas on what to do next, but at the same time, we were both sure how we wanted to start.

with one strong fucking arm, brandon picked me up and i raised my legs to wrap around his waist.

with a rushed chain of events, i ended up falling back onto the couch where zion was sitting, and brandon fell on top of me shortly after.

we kissed each other sloppily while we both took off articles of clothing, both off ourselves and off each other.

as soon as both our shirts were off, brandon turned our experience into one with hands-on learning.

i felt his soft, gentle hands touch all the areas of my skin, from my neck to my waist...and all the spaces in between.

and with every touch, he controlled my actions more and more.

i was under a trance.

"shouldn't we...take th-this some...where else?" i panted, in between being kissed by brandon.

my eyebrows were permanently knitted together...i wasn't even able to control the way my body moved anymore.

and brandon knew how much he controlled me, because he continued to kiss me where i needed him to.

"so what if one of the guys come in? they're not gonna see anything bad in here...if they see you, all they'll see is the sexiest and most beautiful thing in the world," he replied, kissing me even harder all over my neck and my chest.

i laughed deeply, my hands staying in his hair and keeping him close to me.

"but...don't you...want me all...to yourself?" i said, taking deep breaths in between my words. brandon stared at me with a smirk, his eyes twinkling.

"actually...you're right."

with another swift movement, he picked me up once again and made me wrap my legs around his waist.

immediately i regretted saying anything at all, because i was so looking forward to whatever happened next on that couch. i was way too eager.

"hold on, babe, you're about to take a wild ride," brandon chuckled, holding me tightly and then running towards the door to the hallway.

i laughed as he pushed it open, closing my eyes and repeatedly kissing his bare shoulder.

suddenly, i heard a series of four thumps--which strangely sounded like four heads hitting a door.

"what the fuck-" brandon started, and i turned my head to see what was happening.

zion, austin, nick and edwin were all on the floor, holding their heads and closing their eyes in pain.

"you guys are craaaaazy," brandon laughed loudly, his deep voice resonating throughout the hallway. i laughed with him, feeling more entertained than ashamed that i had been carried out of the room only wearing my jeans and my bra.

"bran-don," i sing-songed, staring him in the eye while our four friends started opening their eyes again. my boyfriend tilted his head in confusion.

"what?"

"i'm not wearing a shirt..."

out of the corner of my eye, i saw all four guys' heads snap up towards me. i couldn't help but blush and smile.

"guys, LOOK AWAY!" brandon yelled, proceeding to run away towards his bedroom door with me clinging to him for dear life.

the four guys laughed while he ran, and before he opened the door to his bedroom, i began to climb off of him in order to walk into it.

"wait, babe, why you letting go?" brandon asked with a smirk.

"because we're going into your room now?" i replied, confused but still smiling.

"did i _say_ your wild ride was over yet?"

and with that, i pushed him up against the door, which made him shout in reply with a gleeful smile on his face.

but that didn't stop him from pushing _me_ against that door...

...repeatedly. ;)


	5. think inside the box: austin and you

you.

i knew something was up when i walked to school this morning.

first of all, zion never asks me if i need a ride--because he knows i always need one.

but the weirdest thing was that austin always gave me a ride to school. he'd never pass up a day without driving the both of us to school.

that was our thing.

"zion..." i said, looking over at him from the passenger's seat. he was driving with a huge smile on his face.

if he was trying to cover something up, he wasn't doing very well. he's always been the most obvious person if they had a secret in austin's squad--not including austin.

i guess that's why austin didn't pick me up to go to the high school today?

"yeah, y/n?"

"tell me what's going on."

his face immediately turned blank.

"what do you mean, 'what's going on'? nothing's going on." zion said with a laugh. with one swift movement, he turned on the radio and raised the volume.

a smile appeared on my face. something's definitely going to happen.

while zion freestyled to the beat of the song that was playing, i took out my phone and texted austin, asking where he was.

no. answer.

" _zion_...i know you're up to something. austin's not answering me and he usually answers in less than five seconds." i laughed again, yelling over the music.

zion turned to me and shrugged, shaking his head.

after he parked in our school's parking lot, we both walked towards the gate to go inside the campus.

since our friend group always gets there really early, there wasn't a lot of students there yet.

before i could go to our regular hangout, though, zion put his hands on my shoulders and steered me in a different direction.

"what?" i said, my laughter growing louder.

i have to admit, now that i knew something was up, i was feeling so giddy from the excitement.

"don't you usually hang out in the band room in the morning? you're in orchestra, so you should also practice your music." zion said.

honestly, i didn't even know why he was still trying to make up excuses. something was definitely gonna happen when i stepped in the room.

"okay, whatever." i replied, letting him guide me.

while he made me walk towards the band room, i went through all my knowledge of the past few weeks.

austin acted exactly the same, zion acted exactly the same...everyone acted exactly the same.

so, why have those two waited until today to act really weirdly? like, more weird than they already are?

once we stepped inside the band room, zion suddenly yelled right in my ear.

"SURPRIIIIIIIIISE!!!!!!"

if i was a snake, i would have jumped out of my skin.

"zion!!! what the actual fuck-" i laughed hard, turning around and staring him down. he smirked, raising an eyebrow at me.

i turned back around.

nothing.

the band room was empty, like it always was in the beginning of the school day.

"was there supposed to be--something?" i asked zion, who still had this bright smile on his face.

"just...look around. maybe there is, maybe there isn't." he replied. he stayed still, standing right where he was when he yelled right in my freaking ear.

"o-kay?" i said, laughing nervously and then walking farther into the band room.

all the small instruments were in their lockers, as always.

all the drums and marimbas were standing in their designated spots in the corners of the room.

sure, they were as tall as my waist, but would something be hiding behind them?

i looked back at zion, then at the large instruments.

"just look around..." zion sing-songed, making a shooing gesture with his hand and giving me a small laugh.

so i did.

i stepped closer and closer to the drums and marimbas, and as soon as i stepped behind them, i expected to see whatever zion was talking about--i still didn't know what it would be though.

i raised my eyebrow at him and put my hands on my hips.

"zy? there's literally nothing or no one in this room except me and you." i said. zion knitted his eyebrows together.

"really? there's nothi-" zion stopped when he heard a knock on the band room's door. he ran to open it, and out stepped--

my orchestra teacher.

"oh thank goodness, could you guys possibly help me with this?" my teacher asked, pulling in a huge box by using a handcart.

zion and i walked over to him and nodded, helping him by holding the door open while he wheeled in the box.

"is this a new instrument or something?" i asked my teacher, and he shrugged.

"or something."

he stopped wheeling the handcart in the room, then folded his arms.

a moment passed in which no one said anything...we just stood awkwardly and looked in different directions.

then i heard zion clear his throat.

i looked at him, and he was staring at the box.

then again, silence.

then zion kicked the side of the box.

"Ow!" the box... _spoke_.

"AUSTIN?" i said, starting to laugh. zion started to laugh with me, shaking his head.

slowly, the top flaps of the box opened, and austin's head popped out.

"Y/N, WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH M-" he began, raising his arms and holding up a poster that had the question written on it in calligraphy.

before he could finish his sentence...he accidentally leaned forward and caused the whole box to fall forward with him.

me and zion weren't able to react before he landed on the floor.

by now, we were all laughing hysterically.

everything made sense now.

zion kept on laughing while i crawled on the floor over to my boyfriend, helping him by holding the poster while he crawled out of the box.

"oh my goodness," i said, wiping away a tear because i was laughing so hard. i looked over the poster austin had made for me and admired how hard he worked in order to write every single letter in _beautiful_ calligraphy lettering.

"baby, this is beautiful," i said in between laughs, and then i felt his arms around my waist, him hugging me from behind.

my teacher, standing a few feet away from us, gave the three of us a huge smile and then let us have the band room to ourselves.

he's such a great teacher.

"all for you." austin said, repeatedly kissing me on the cheek. as i looked closer at the poster, i noticed that austin had glued photos of us on the paper by making a border around the written question.

as i looked at our smiling faces, i smiled brightly.

"now, if only i finished my question in the first place, and not fallen on the floor like an idiot," austin said, walking around to face me properly.

i looked at him, shaking my head because he was so adorable.

"the best part of this whole situation is that _you're_ my cute, adorable idiot, and i'd _love_ to go to prom with you." i finished.

with that, i put the poster on top of one of the drums.

and then i ran into my boyfriend's arms.

he caught me like he always did, letting me put all my weight on him and hooking my legs around his waist.

i saw zion over austin's shoulder, smiling and taking pictures like a proud dad.

"alrighty guys, just remember not to stay out too late on prom day!" he exclaimed, shaking his finger at us as if he really was one.

after he finished speaking, he walked out of the room and said something about how he was going to find a date in the near future so he could top austin's promposal.

and then it was just us.

like it always should be.

austin put me down, and i brushed his hair gently to the side with my fingers.

"you'll _always_ be my cute and adorable idiot, babe," i repeated, leaving my arms to rest on his shoulders and clasping my hands behind his neck.

while i spoke, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer so our chests were pressed against each other.

"and you'll always be the only person who's allowed to call me that." austin replied.

then he kissed me...making me feel the same amount of sparks that i'd felt during our first kiss, and our second, and our third.


	6. great minds think alike: nick and you

you.

the high school dance was tonight...and i wasn't ready to go at all.

the theme was to wear one half of a famous pair...like, wearing a robin costume from batman and robin.

and when everyone arrives, if you find the other half, then that was your date for the rest of the night.

so far the only costume idea i had was to wear a brown shirt and bring a jar of peanut butter so people would understand what i was.

"i don't think anyone'll understand what you are...at least you're gonna bring the actual thing?" y/f/n said.

we were in my bedroom, changing into our costumes, and my friend was changing into a robin costume.

"you're smart though, you actually made your decision early enough," i laughed, staring at the mirror and looking over my brown shirt.

y/f/n shrugged, fixing their hair in order to look more like robin.

"you ready to go?" y/f/n said. i nodded, picking up my jar of peanut butter from my dresser.

we headed out of my house and began to walk to our high school, seeing how it was only a few blocks away.

 _what would happen if i did find my soulmate?_ i thought to myself.

_what would happen if i didn't?_

at least y/f/n had a common costume on, they'll probably find more than two batmans at the dance.

i'll probably look like a wimp if i don't find jelly.

i stopped.

y/f/n turned to me, raising their eyebrows.

"what's up?" y/f/n asked.

"y/f/n...what if i don't find jelly there?" i said.

i've always felt anxious in several situations...but this situation struck me harder than the others.

it's bad enough that no one wanted to be my partner when it's a group project in some of my classes...and now i have to go through that again at a freaking dance.

"y/n." my friend said, stepping closer to me and putting a hand on my shoulder for comfort.

"a dance is meant for people to have fun, not to make people worry about not finding someone to spend their time with. the school should have thought about how people would feel towards this...but you'll be fine. we're both going to be at the dance, okay? if you don't find anyone who's dressed up as jelly, just find me and we'll spend the rest of the dance together." y/f/n reasoned.

i smiled, exhaling.

y/f/n always knew the right thing to say to make me get over my anxiety.

"now, let's get to the dance before everyone buys all of the food there." my friend laughed, and i hooked my arm through theirs.

when we walked into the gym, where the dance was taking place, i saw a lot of people dressed up as sonic and knuckles, patrick and spongebob, macaroni and cheese, and i even saw lil pump and kanye west.

"do you see any red shirts anywhere?" i asked y/f/n, who was also looking around for any batmans.

"no, not yet..." y/f/n said. i eyed the concessions table near the door.

"imma go get a slice of pizza." i said. i waved goodbye to y/f/n as they walked deeper into the crowd in order to find their other half.

i walked towards the table, which already had a long line full of hungry people.

as i stood in line, i looked around the room and suddenly spotted a guy wearing a red shirt.

 _oh my gosh_ , i thought. i squinted my eyes and looked for any other sign that he was jelly.

and there it was...a jar of strawberry jelly in his right hand.

"hey! i'm-" i been to call out at him. he looked towards me, but then i saw a girl wearing a plain white shirt with a picture of toast on the front walking to him.

my eyes immediately lowered.

my anxiety grew stronger.

_great. just great._

after i bought a slice of pizza and a soda, i turned around and started looking for y/f/n.

then a miracle happened.

correction...a miracle bumped into me.

"oop, i'm so sorry-" a guy's voice spoke. i nearly tripped over myself and i nearly dropped my pizza.

i faced the guy, ready to shoot back, when i noticed what he was wearing.

a simple black shirt, with the design on an oreo printed across the front.

"you're--" i began.

"my soulmate!" he cut in, wrapping his arms around me and knocking my can of soda onto the ground.

"ah," i said, reaching down to get it while he did the same. we knocked heads, and then we both stepped back at the same time.

"i'm so, so sorry," he said with the _cutest_ laugh. my heart swelled.

"you okay?" he asked, grabbing my shoulder and steadying me. and i was grateful for that--his hotness was swaying me.

he had, like, the longest fucking eyelashes in the word. his eyes were this different type of brown. his hair was perfect.

"yeah, i am." i replied.

we made eye contact, and we _knew_.

we've both been looking for partners, we've both been looking for someone to date.

we've both been searching for so long...

...but the people we've been looking for were just waiting to show up in our lives.

and now we had each other.

"i'm nick." the guy said, stepping a little closer. i beamed, all the anxiety in my mind going away in a snap.

he made me feel so much better. he was _just_ what i needed.

"i'm y/n." i spoke.

we were so close.

"care to dance with me?" nick asked, holding his hand out to mine. i took it.

all of a sudden i felt like the most confident person in the world.

he's changing me...in the best way possible.

"of course," i said as he led me into the direct middle of the dance floor.

and while everyone else stared...

while my anxiety was far gone for the moment...

while i was beginning to fall in love with an extremely kind and hot guy...

i felt as if i was finally discovering what happiness truly felt like.


	7. as if he was mine: edwin and you

you.

we stopped in front of my door, and looked at each other.

the world stopped turning.

i reached out and took his hand, lacing my fingers in between his as if our hands were meant for each other.

he slid his arm around my waist, and i leaned into him effortlessly.

the warmth coming off his body immediately relaxed me, and as i stood on my tiptoes in order to make eye contact with him...

i knew that he was the only place i could feel content with myself.

and then i kissed him...as if he was mine.

our hands closed tightly around each other's, and our lips moved soundlessly.

edwin let go of my hand so he could wrap both of his arms around me even more, and i let all my weight go onto them.

i didn't want to leave.

i didn't want to leave this place, in his arms, the place where i felt the happiest.

i moved away for a split second, so i could whisper to him..."i love you."

and with the sweetest, softest voice..."i love you so much more."

edwin stared down at me and kissed me again.

tears fell onto my cheek...both from myself and from edwin.

i reached a hand up and gently swiped the back of my hand against his cheek.

seeing him cry made me want to cry even more, and i did.

"i don't want to leave you." i whispered.

edwin nodded slowly, kissing me on the cheek right where a tear had fallen before.

"and i've said this a million times already...but i have to say it again. i wish we didn't have to do this." he spoke.

i nodded, leaning my head so it was resting against his neck.

"but we have to." i replied.

i felt him nod.

"and i'll be here...right here, in front of this door...as soon as i come back." edwin said.

he let go of me, and i shivered.

i shivered because his arms weren't going to be able to hold me for the next few months.

i shivered because without him...i feel cold.

"an' i'll be waiting for you." i said.

edwin stared at the floor, then moved to sit down on the front step leading up to my front door.

i sat down next to him, linking my arm with his.

we always did this when we 'said goodbye'--stood outside my door, hugged, kissed, then sat down on the front step.

and the funniest thing was that we couldn't even bring ourselves to say the actual word.

if we did...the situation would be even more depressing than it already was.

"i would rather be..." edwin began to sing. i inhaled, my chest tightening.

"...without vision before i ever watch you leave." he continued.

he _knew_ how much that song meant to me.

he knew how much that song meant to us.

edwin sang until he reached the chorus, and then he looked at me.

i looked back.

"come on, baby." he urged.

"i need to hear your beautiful voice." edwin pressed a kiss on my cheek.

i pressed my forehead against his, and then i opened my mouth.

"when i close my eyes, all i think about is you..."

his voice joined mine.

"all i think about is you...i'd be better off blind."

as if i was in a cheesy movie, i closed my eyes and sang the rest of the chorus with the love of my life.

we sat there hand in hand until the song finished, our voices resonating and filling up the empty space in our hearts.

if i could sit there for the rest of my life, on that front step, with edwin honoret...i'd be happy.

i wouldn't have to think about my family--who doesn't care for me as much as he does.

i wouldn't have to think about him leaving me to do his job, the part of his life that reminds me that he's not mine for the taking.

i wouldn't have to worry about losing my other half ever again.

so when my mom opened the door and told me that it was really time to say goodbye and to have dinner...

edwin stood up with me and held me tightly against his chest for one more time.

now was the time for no words.

no singing, no smiling, no _anything_.

just...a last kiss on the cheek from edwin, and then another kiss on the lips from me.

both kisses meaning...not a final goodbye...but a simple "i'll see you later".


	8. that smile: nick and zion

nick.

our first fight happened over something extremely small.

zion was refusing to let me have the last pop tart--just because he bought the whole box about a week ago.

"zion...if you buy food, you gotta expect to share it with us. you're such a dick." i said, laughing and stalking towards him with a grin.

he was standing in the kitchen, with both hands on the pop tart box like it was a football and he was getting ready to throw it.

"there's only one iced strawberry left, and you know i like that, bro. _again_ , nick, i'm literally the one who bought this." zion said, shaking the box for emphasis.

i continued to step closer to him, and once i was close enough, i grabbed the box from him and nearly crushed it with my grip.

"hey!" zion exclaimed, reaching for it to grab it back, but before he was able to snatch it out of my hands, i ran out the door of the house to the backyard.

our house in la was beautiful, and its backyard even had a prettier view. but in this case, the backyard acted as a track for me and zion.

as soon as i had stepped out of the house, zion was chasing after me like an animal.

i ran along the fence bordering the backyard and ran in a circle, with zion closing the space between us and nearly catching up to me.

i smiled and held the box tightly, my mind switching between the last strawberry pop tart and the fact that the guy i liked was chasing me.

and then i tripped.

in the midst of trying to run away from zion, my foot suddenly slipped on the grass, and i lost my balance.

i heard zion gasp, and before i could hit the floor, his arms wrapped around me and the box of pop tarts.

we stayed frozen for a moment, me putting all my weight on zion's arms in an awkward position and zion holding me a few inches above the grass.

"you okay?" zion looked at me with the softest facial expression i've ever seen him have.

"yeah,...i'm alright," i replied, standing up. zion kept his arms around me, and i noticed how close we were.

i felt his hands lower to my waist, and he gave me the most heartwarming smile in the world.

"good." he spoke, leaning close to me. but then he stopped.

for a few seconds, he simply made eye contact me. without speaking...he told me that his thoughts were all over the place.

we both didn't know what was going to happen next...we weren't sure about anything...but at the same time, we both knew that whatever happened wouldn't change anything between us.

my heart beat faster, and i gulped.

zion leaned even closer, and then in a blink, i felt zion press his lips to my left cheek.

i felt as if i was glowing--and my cheeks probably were, by now.

i didn't know what to say.

we looked at each other again, and i was glad to see a huge smile on zion's face. every time he smiles, he makes me do the same.

his happiness always spreads to me.

if he's happy, the air of the room always changes, and all of a sudden...i'm the happiest guy in the world.

all i need to see is that amazing _smile_.

it holds so much laughter, so much peace. one look at his smile, and you can just _know_ that it's genuine, too.

and one day...

i hope that i could see his amazing smile when i wake up in the morning.


	9. perfection: zion and edwin

zion.

all i was doing was going into the bathroom to take a shower.

i wasn't fucking ready.

i wasn't fucking ready for a huge black spider to start scurrying up the white tiles of the frickin' shower.

and my guys weren't ready to hear a loud manly scream--coming from me--at one in the morning.

i'm pretty sure i woke up half the people living in the house with that manly scream.

but whatever--i couldn't help but run for my life and skrrt out of that death trap called a bathroom with a spider in it.

i stood outside of the death trap, my left hand gripping the towel wrapped around my waist--and yeah, i was literally ready to step into the shower when i saw the deathly object.

so i had no fucking clothes on...the only thing helping me from making a complete fool of myself was this towel.

i looked to my right and saw brandon step out of him and nick's bedroom, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

he stopped in his tracks and stared at me for a few seconds, looking at me up and down.

"what the actual...fuck." he yawned, squinting at me since he didn't have his glasses with him at the moment.

"my bad, man, didn't mean to wake you up. it's not my fault that you chose to go to bed early instead of sitting in front of your magic music making laptop 24/7," i joked, laughing awkwardly.

brandon shifted his weight onto his right foot, folding his arms.

"so then--why'd you have to scream hella loud?" he asked, and i could tell by the tone of his voice that he might get pissed if i continue to joke around.

"sorry, b..." i sighed, scratching my head in shame. "i kinda saw a huge spider in the shower as i was stepping in." i explained.

brandon furrowed his eyebrows, his face showing the emotion of anger for a split second.

then he started laughing, his deep, resonating laughter going through the house.

"oh, zion," he said, shaking his head slowly and then going back into his bedroom to go back to sleep. as the door closed behind him, i necked myself.

i bet i looked hella dumb, just standing here with only a freakin' towel.

i walked back into the bathroom, putting my towel on the rack and then closing my eyes.

for the next few minutes, i took a shower in the death trap with my eyes closed. even though i felt hella tense, i kinda deserved the punishment since i interrupted people's sleep.

once i finally got into me and edwin's bedroom, i threw my dirty clothes into the hamper and leaned against the closed door.

my eyes drifted over to where edwin was laying in our bed, facing the window and staring outside.

and there he was...

...the love of my life.

"did my loud-ass scream wake you up?" i whispered, laughing softly and shaking my head at myself.

edwin slowly turned towards me, a small smile creeping onto his face.

almost.

"naw, i've been awake...but you did make me laugh." he answered. i beamed at him.

i walked to the bed and sat down on the edge, then tucked myself under the blankets.

edwin turned so he could face me, and our hands immediately intertwined.

we used up a few seconds with silence, and i felt more at ease when edwin's thumb repeatedly rubbed against mine.

"i need to get over my fear of spiders..." i said, my voice trailing off.

edwin gave me another small smile, closing his eyes. he laughed a little.

not quite there...yet.

"i swear to god, edwin, i'm not even scared of anything else--it's just those, those little creatures skittering around this house." i said, looking over my boyfriend's peaceful face.

he opened one eye and stared at me for a lil, then spoke.

"what makes you scared of spiders, anyway?" edwin asked.

as i replied, i watched our hands, our fingers playing with each other while we talked.

"i dunno...maybe it's just the way they look. like...every time i see one, i just picture them walking across my skin and their legs feeling all prickly and shit." i laughed.

this time, edwin laughed a little more than before. his smile grew a little bigger.

still, not there.

"so..." edwin began. his eyes sparkled. "if i do this..."

before i could even blink, edwin let go of my hand and tickled my neck by pretending his hand was a spider.

i flinched, gently grabbing his wrist with my hand and moving it away while laughter bubbled up inside me.

i giggled, covering my face with the bedsheet and suppressing my laughter so i wouldn't accidentally wake people up for the second time that morning.

"you're hilarious," edwin teased, wrestling his wrist out of my grip and tickling me once again.

i scooted away from him on the bed as fast as i could, laughing out loud.

before i could process what was happening, i accidentally wiggled out of the bed as i moved away from edwin--

and i fell hard on the floor.

i rolled away once before i stopped, my shoulders shaking from laughing.

edwin peered at me over the edge of the bed, checking if i was okay.

i was still laughing to myself as i gave him a thumbs-up.

and as i stood up and got back in bed, crawling back under the sheets next to the guy i loved...

i saw the biggest smile on edwin's face that i've ever seen him have.

 

_perfect._


	10. a little something extra: nick and austin

austin.

after i finished tying my green apron around my waist, i started off the day by wiping down tables before any customers came in.

early mornings at starbucks were always peaceful...watching the sun rise over the nearby buildings helped me to wake up, too.

but the best part of my morning was seeing the guy i've always liked, ever since i met him at school.

as soon as he walked in the door at around eight o'clock, that's when i fully woke up.

i tried not to lose my cool while he got in line.

i was preparing another customer's frappuccino when we made eye contact.

i gave him a small smile, and he smiled back at me.

then i was able to ask him what he wanted to drink.

he stood on the other side of the counter, with the brightest smile in the world.

"hi, how are you?" i asked. he looked up at me and his smile grew bigger.

"oh, hey austin! i didn't know you worked here!" nick exclaimed, raising his hand to do a bro-shake.

i grabbed it, grinning.

"well, i've usually just stayed in the back because i'm still kinda new, but on some days they let me be at the counter." i explained, preparing the machine for me to input his order.

nick beamed, then told me he wanted a venti strawberries and creme frappuccino with two scoops of java chips and two pumps of mocha.

i held a cup and wrote down his order while he spoke, occasionally nodding at the appropriate times.

i definitely didn't want to lose my cool. there was so much at stake if i did.

i glanced towards the line area, and i was glad to see that there was no one waiting for me to take their order after him.

i still had a few minutes to talk about anything with nick.

"you headed somewhere?" i asked, punching in his order and then completing the transaction.

nick shook his head while he kept his wallet in his pocket.

"nah...just hangin' out with some friends after this. but at the same time, i kinda wanna just stay home and watch TV." nick laughed.

his laughter spread to me, and i laughed a little.

i proceeded to make his frappuccino, while many thoughts passed through my mind.

occasionally, i looked over at nick as completed the ritual of making a drink at starbucks.

i've always admired how he's such an approachable person, and how he's so easy to talk to.

but--if he's that easy to talk to, and if he's that approachable--why can't i just bring myself to tell him how i feel?

maybe because it's hard and sometimes sad to think of what might happen next.

i don't know if he shares the same love interests as me, i don't know if he could even like me in that way...

there's so much at stake.

but then again, if i don't do anything...i'll never know what could happen.

as i finished assembling the frappuccino and pouring all the contents into the venti cup, i realized that i had forgotten to write his name on the side for identification.

i glanced over at him one more time, my smile permanent.

even when he was just leaning against a wall and texting away on his phone...he looked so cute.

i grabbed a sharpie and effortlessly scribbled 'nicholas' on the side of the cup whilst the frappuccino's contents were in it, then put it down on the pick-up section of the counter.

he looked up at me and walked closer, grinning. picking up his order, he peered at the side of the cup where i wrote his name.

"wow..." his voice trailed off. we made eye contact.

"you--spelled my name correctly and _everything_. you're _magic_ , austin." nick breathed, giving me a little laugh.

i smiled bigger in reply, and i was pretty sure that i was blushing quite hard by then.

but when i looked into nick's eyes--i saw something different.

he wasn't really looking at me the way a classmate would look at another anymore...and i wondered why.

maybe his full first name is important to him...maybe he's experienced something deeper in the past?

whatever it was...i wish i knew. he seemed more content and happy upon seeing his name, even though he always seems ecstatic and happy around everyone.

we took a few seconds looking at each other and smiling, and then, surprisingly...

i found myself saying something before i could think about it first.

"nick-?" i began, seeing how he was about to turn away and leave the cafe.

he faced me again, one eyebrow raised a little. i glanced at the sharpie in my hand, then continued.

"hold up, let me just give you something real quick." i said, and then nick, with his ever so kind facial expressions, willingly handed over his frappuccino.

as i held the cup in my hand, i noticed that my heart was beating faster.

but it was too late if i wanted to back away and forget this ever happened.

i quickly scribbled my number on the cup next to his name, and i added a smiley face.

i felt like one of those girls on TV...but hey, in the heat of the moment--i felt like this was the right thing to do.

and seeing the brightest smile on nick's face after i gave him back his drink made the whole experience worth it.


	11. do you right*: zion and you

zion.

ever since me and y/n got married, the thought that she was officially mine for the rest of my life made me so happy.

her hands were mine to hold.

her lips were mine to kiss.

but the best part was that i was able to wake up next to her everyday, come home to her delicious food, and fall asleep next to her every night.

and then there was the worst part...my lazy ass always made her angry because i always left a trail of clutter behind me whenever i walked around the house.

what can i say? it's something that i grew up doing ever since i was little--whenever i finished using something, i always thought it would be okay to just leave it where i was and then go on with the rest of my life.

but becoming a married man should have made me realize that being a slob wasn't attractive at all.

today after work, i came home and decided to hop in the jacuzzi in our backyard, just to get some fresh air and to relax a little until my wife came home. what i failed to remember was that in order to get settled in the jacuzzi, i had to change out of my work clothes, change into my swim shorts, get a beer from the fridge, grab my portable speaker and my phone, and _then_ sit in the jacuzzi.

so after i finally sat down in that small, hot circle-shaped pool of relaxation, i realized that y/n was probably gonna fry my ass because i left an entire mess in my wake.

and she sure did.

all i could do was watch in fear as she came home from work and stepped outside to start telling me off for it.

"zion. what the actual fuck. all i ask is that you pick up your shit after you use it--you literally left the whole kitchen like there was a tornado in there." she began.

i wasn't able to apologize before she continued.

"i don't even care if you have a sudden closet-organization crisis either, just put all your freaking clothes back where they belong if you want to rearrange them or something. i literally went upstairs to change and i just saw a pile of your clothes on our bed. i'd like to come home to a bedroom where i could actually _see my own bed_ , you know. and i'm sure you'd like that too?"

i made eye contact with her, and i saw the flames in her eyes.

i fought back a laugh...

but then she just _had_ to change the mood.

all i saw was her hands moving to her waist, and then my eyes caught the thin strip of skin between her jeans and the hem of her shirt.

oh, _fuck_.

an action as simple as that...drove me wild.

so many thoughts started filling my mind right there and then. i stared at her hands on her waist while she continued, and i knew that one way or another she'd catch on.

sure enough, she stopped talking and stared back at me.

"what are you--looking at?" she said, shifting her weight onto her other hip. before i could think, i pulled my bottom lip into my mouth and bit down harshly.

i wanted her.

i needed her.

as if on cue, y/n turned around ever so slowly, obviously knowing what was going on and messing with me even more. a part of me hated how she could read my mind so quickly, but another part of me was grateful.

at least she wasn't too pissed at me anymore.

when she faced me again, i just had to move through the water in order to get to the edge of the jacuzzi that was closer to her. she walked forward so her feet were right by me, then she crouched down.

she placed her fingers under my chin and tilted my head up so i could lock eyes with her, and then she spoke in the sexiest and most dramatic voice:

" _i know_ what you want."

her eyes sparkled with amusement.

she knew what she was doing to me, and she knew what she had to do in order for me to give her what she wanted in return.

she could literally tell me to do anything at that point...because she knew i'd do it.

"but what _i_ want you to do...is to clean up the house. then maybe, just maybe...we could cool off in the shower." she smirked, folding her arms.

"that's not--fair." i said, getting out of the jacuzzi and then standing next to her. she smiled and laughed, standing back up. that lightened up the mood a little bit, but that didn't help me at all. i retraced my thoughts and realized that my voice had gone up an octave because of how desperate and eager i was.

she had so much power over me.

i made to grab her wrists with my hands in order to pull her closer, but she moved out of the way in a split second. my eyes watched her every move as she sauntered back into the house with a knowing smile on her face.

once i got in the kitchen, i kept every food item back where it belonged, and closed all the cupboards in the kitchen. my mind was still stuck on her.

i thought about all the past experiences when we spent those lonely nights together, talking in our kitchen, swimming in the pool, laying together in our bed.

i thought about the image of her tightly closed eyes, her arched back, her skin against mine.

i thought about the sounds she made in response to all the things i did to her. all the things she liked.

and when i finally got all my shit together, finished cleaning up the mess in the kitchen and the living room, i walked up the stairs as fast as i possibly could.

my eyesight grew sharp when i saw what she was doing in the master bedroom.

y/n stood in front of the mirror, fixing her hair into a ponytail while raising her arms...and _all she was wearing_ was her underwear and my blue champion sweatshirt.

"holy _fuck_ ," i cursed, my voice strained. she turned around to face me, and she crossed her arms, her ponytail swinging as she tilted her head.

if it was yesterday, i'd think she looked like a really cute and adorable version of ariana grande...but right now, all the innocent thoughts were erased from my mind when i saw her exposed skin.

i leaned against the door as if all my strength had pretty much been drained from my body.

she slowly walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck, and i couldn't help but wrap my arms around her waist in response.

i needed her touch, i needed her warmth, i needed her to surround me.

 _now_.

"did you finish cleaning up the house?" she asked softly.

she never got an answer.

i watched her lips move...i admired the way they moved so smoothly with every word says. i needed to kiss her.

i instinctively closed my eyes and moved towards her, my arms wrapping tighter around her body so she wouldn't move away. and to my surprise...she let me.

i was finally able to feel her lips against mine, i was finally able to make her give in to me. she had the softest lips in the entire world, and she gave me so much energy whenever we kissed.

she lifted one leg and wrapped it around my waist, and i reached down to grab under her knees. i hoisted her up into my arms and she held my face in her hands. i continued to kiss her as i pushed her up against the closest wall.

her legs held on to my waist as we kissed as if she'd never let go. honestly, if we didn't have to worry about the rest of our lives...i don't think i would let go of her, either.

i kissed her for a few more seconds, and then started to make a line of kisses down her neck. instinctively, she moved her head to the side so i could have more room. i kept a close eye on her face, watching every one of her reactions with greedy eyes.

she tilted her head back, and when i found that right spot on her neck, she parted those beautiful, naturally pink lips and moaned.

i cursed under my breath, and then i bit that spot. i sucked and licked her skin, enjoying the sounds she gave me in return.

her body moved up the wall when i started grinding slowly against her crotch, which pretty much gave both of us the movement we needed. she gave me a sweet sound in reply, and my breathing became more rough.

every time i got friction from my shorts onto my dick--i inhaled sharply.

a burning sensation went through my whole body with every kiss she gave me from then on.

y/n's hands moved to my back, her nails starting to dig into my skin.

if i spent, like, four more minutes of grinding against her, we both wouldn't be able to hold it in anymore.

i quickly moved away from the wall, with y/n still in my arms, and speed-walked into the master bathroom--complete with a small shower in the corner.

but who cares, though, if our bathroom isn't too extravagant?

it could still be used for _anything_.

i let her stand up once we were in the bathroom, and to my surprise, y/n knelt down in front of me. just the sight of her doing that small ass action made me go crazy.

" _fuck_ , i don't even know if i could wait no more, babe," i choked back, watching her. she shook her head in reply.

with quick movements, she grabbed the waistband of my swim shorts and pulled it off.

without hesitation, she reached forward and wrapped her fingers around my dick. i pushed my back against the bathroom wall and put my hands behind my head, letting out a groan.

she moved her hand slowly at first, but then she pressed her lips against the tip and then opened her mouth. i entangled my fingers in her hair, and she willingly let me move her head to the speed i desired.

y/n kept letting me do that--until i really couldn't wait anymore.

with one look into her eyes, with one look at her kneeling in front of me, i let go. i leaned back against the wall and relaxed for a moment, still coming down from my high. but when i looked at her again, still kneeling on the floor, licking her lips and watching me with pleading eyes--i knew i had to return the favor.

i kissed her harshly, gripping the sides of her waist and wrapping my fingers around the waistband of her underwear. and in the midst of all the craziness going on in my mind, i accidentally tore it off.

all i could hear was a small giggle from y/n while i carelessly threw the torn underwear on the floor.

i pulled my champion sweatshirt up and over her head, my eyes scanning all over her body. i pressed my lips to her neck as i opened the shower door behind her, and then we finally, _finally_ stepped inside.

after i turned on the water and let the warmth go all over our bodies, i lifted her up and made her wrap her legs around her waist. i slowly pushed inside of her, watching her face as she moaned.

i took in the sight in front of me as i increased my speed, as our breathing, our sounds, and our minds melded together into one collective state of pleasure.

and with every move, i made sure she knew that she was my everything.

for as long as we both shall live, i won't hesitate to do anything for her.

sure, i can be dumb sometimes, what with me being hella messy and everything.

but she's going to help me through that. she's the most helpful person i've ever met, and i'm so glad i have her in my life.

i'm the luckiest man alive.

and because i understand that now, because i know she'll go through all my ups and downs with me...

i'll always do her right, the way she likes it.


	12. don't change*: austin and edwin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING: excessive smut!!!!*
> 
> also, just wanted to say...
> 
> idk anything about the guys' personal lives, this is _all pure fiction_. i don't mean to cause any drama/hate/confusion. just know that i don't know anything about them, i've never met them (although i wish i had, lol) and i don't know them on a personal level.
> 
> some of these are facts though...but then again, there's so many things online, sometimes idk what's real or not. keep that in mind. throughout the whole oneshot book.

austin.

edwin stepped out of his fitting room, holding up a plain black hoodie.

"what do you think about this?" he asked. i shrugged, my fingers casually brushing through my hair.

we were in the mall, close to our concert venue for the day, and edwin decided to bring me along to one of his mall explorations. basically, in every city we go to, he manages to find some type of store area in each city lightning fast--while the rest of the guys are just trying to find good restaurants. 

right now, edwin was showing me all the different clothing items he'd found in forever 21, and giving me an impromptu fashion show in the fitting rooms.

"that's dope..." i commented, looking at the hoodie...but then i furrowed my eyebrows. edwin tapped his foot, obviously noticing my reaction.

"what's up?"

"babe, that's not really what you wear. as your boyfriend, i know how your fashion sense is...and that seems almost _too_ simple." i reasoned. edwin shrugged, then sighed really loudly. he took the hoodie off of its hanger and then stepped back inside the fitting room to try it on.

"i mean...i know my style's usually hella-- _out there_ , but maybe it's... _too_ crazy." he spoke to me through the door. i looked towards the room he was changing in, then stood up and walked up to its door. i leaned my back up against the wood and continued the conversation.

"what makes you think that?"

"sometimes when i choose clothes, and then i'm really feelin' myself...once i post photos of my fits, i don't feel as good anymore."

i stared at the ceiling, feeling anger building up inside me. i myself have so many haters that bother me everyday, but when i hear about--or _see_ \--haters bothering my boyfriend, that annoys me on a whole other level. that's just not _right_.

"what makes you think that, too? babe, i mean...you look even better in person, but that doesn't mean your photos aren't good." i raked my brain to try and find a good thing to say in order to make him think otherwise.

"oh, haha, austin...you know what i mean." edwin said. "now move a little, i'm gonna open the door."

i obeyed, standing against the opposite wall of the fitting rooms. the fitting room door opened, and out stepped edwin wearing his orange, yellow, gray and black pants with the plain black hoodie. i smiled, looking him up and down.

"you look so good," i said, stepping close to him and easily wrapping my arms around his waist. edwin laughed softly, shaking his head.

"you see, babe..." he stepped away from me so i'd be able to see his full fit. "this is simple enough, but still _me_...right?"

i took a deep breath.

"ed, why are you thinking about that? you don't need to worry about that."

"well, i'm just starting to think that my clothes sometimes get too crazy, when i'm just tryna find a good fit for instagram. don't you see the..." his voice grew a little softer. a little sad.

"...the comments?"

i took his hand in mine, pulling him closer to me once again and pressing a kiss to his temple. our voices grew quiet. i told him something i wanted to tell everyone in the whole world...but something still prevented me from speaking louder.

"you should never have to worry about what people think. when you look closer and read the comments, they really hit you...but when you see it from farther away, they're just what they are. words on a fucking page."

edwin made eye contact with me. he leaned closer, then pressed his lips to mine. his arms slowly wrapped around my neck, and the kiss got deeper. edwin tilted his head so the space between us started to decrease, until we were pressed against each other. as i kissed him, i walked forwards into edwin's fitting room and then reached behind me to close the door.

i continued to move forward while kissing him until i pinned him against the wall, and edwin's hands moved down from my neck and onto my waist. i moved my hands down to his, then tucked my fingers under the plain black hoodie. he wasn't wearing a shirt, which allowed me to move my fingers ever so gently across his skin. edwin was always so sensitive to my touch, and i smiled against his lips when i felt him lean into me a little more.

i moved my hands from his chest to his back, continuously pulling him closer and kissing him even deeper. there was a moment when edwin moved about a centimeter away from me, and when i leaned in to kiss him again, he just brushed his lips against mine for a split second. that got me frustrated.

"babe, please, i wanna kiss you." i breathed, my voice low and ragged. edwin, whose hands were in my hair now, smirked. "i _know_. i just...wanted to see how much you needed me," edwin replied, laughing as he finally let me kiss him. our lips parted, and soon enough we were french-kissing in that small fitting room.

at one point i moved away and kept my eyes on him, fumbling with my belt buckle and then yanking the fucking belt off. i kissed him again--just a few seconds away from edwin made me want him even more. edwin undid the button on his pants while my lips moved down to his neck, and i left a few love bites there and kissed them after each one.

i watched edwin's face as i worked on his neck, loving the way he responded to my actions. his head was tilted back, his bottom lip pulled into his mouth, his teeth biting down harshly on it. every time i sucked on his skin, he inhaled sharply and his hand gripped my hair even tighter.

when i moved away, edwin immediately grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it off of me, then kissed my neck down to my shoulders, all the way down to my waist. i watched him as he went down, nearing the place where i needed his lips the most. i stared longingly at him as he pulled down my jeans, then my boxers.

he traced my v-line with kisses, but didn't touch me at all. he was making me even more frustrated by the minute.

"why don't you--" i exhaled, my voice strained. edwin stood up to his full height again, then took off his pants.

"because i don't want you in my _mouth_...at least, not right now." edwin replied. as soon as those inappropriate words came out of his usually-innocent mouth, i couldn't fucking take it anymore. i pressed him against the wall, placing my hand on his crotch and giving him the friction he needed. and then i heard him moan, a sound i don't usually hear on a regular basis. and it only drove me harder.

" _fuck_ , you're so hot," i murmured against his lips, our tongues dancing and exploring each other's mouths. edwin's hands were all over the back of my shirt, gripping the fabric so tight every time i touched him. i slid my hand into the waistline of his boxers, then made them fall to surround his ankles. he stepped out of them, and then i grabbed his shoulders.

"turn around, baby," i ordered, and edwin immediately obeyed. seeing him place his hands against the wall and arch his back so submissively nearly made me come right there and then, but i remembered--i want this to last as long as possible.

"do you need me to prep you?" i whispered, my voice even quieter than before. i leaned against him, my chest against his arched back, my crotch against his waist. edwin shook his head, turning to look at me and biting his lip.

"no, please just-- _fuck_ me already," edwin said, his eyebrows furrowed. i groaned in reply to his words, grabbing his shoulder and then kissing him harshly, one more time.

i lifted my left index and middle fingers to him, and without a command, he made eye contact with me and took them into his mouth. i bit my lip while he got my fingers wet, and once they were good enough i moved my left hand up and down my dick.

i positioned the tip at his entrance, and as i pushed in, i watched edwin to check if he was alright. when i was sure he was okay, i slowly went all the way in. edwin looked at me and moaned, his eyes closed.

"you feel so tight, you're so good," i whispered, feeling overwhelmed. what edwin said next made me feel even more crazy than i already was.

"only for you, baby," he whispered, and on that note, i moved out and then went all the way back in, so deep. edwin grabbed my hand and told me to go on, and i gladly obeyed.

as every minute passed, i told him how much i loved him. i soundlessly told him that he was perfect the way he was, that everything he did was fine, everything he wore showed how beautiful he was on the inside and outside.

i wordlessly told him that not a single curve or line on him was out of place. 

every part about him is as it should be.

everything about him...made him who he was. and that should never change.


	13. comfort zone: edwin and brandon

edwin.

i was literally pulling up the sheets to my chin in bed when i heard a light knock on my door.

"who the fuck--and at this time of night?" i cursed aloud, looking at my watch and rolling my eyes. i got out of bed, dragging my feet on the floor and groaning with every step i took. once i reached the door, i placed my hand on the lock and then stopped.

_what if i literally just pretended that i didn't hear the door? students would obviously be sleeping at this time..._

but then the knocking grew louder. and i didn't want to hear that constant pounding all night. so i opened the door.

" _finally_."

brandon was standing in front of me, his fingers constantly brushing through his hair while his other hand was frozen, about to knock again. i raised my eyebrows. if i knew _he_ was going to show up at my dorm room, i would have dressed at least a little more. all i was wearing was some gray joggers for pajamas, no shirt.

"do you need something, bro?" i asked, crossing my arms and trying to act as casual as possible--while my nerves were going crazy. i mean, picture this: if _your_ crush showed up at your bedroom in the middle of the night, wouldn't you be shook, at least a little bit? i don't even know how to respond.

"have you ever just..." brandon began. he put his hand on the side of the door, then crossed his arms. he clearly was either confused on what to say...or thinking about something hella hard.

"have you ever just had the feeling of wanting to get away?" he finished. i thought for a second, then nodded slowly. brandon exhaled loudly.

"really? you have?" he added. i nodded again.

"yeah...why?" i replied.

"then what prevents you from actually doing it?"

"...maybe because, um, i don't know, i have _school_ to go to, and hella work to do?" i laughed nervously. where's this going?

"okay, yeah, but, like..." brandon drew his fingers through his hair once again, searching for words.

"think deeply, ed. what _really_ stops you from getting _out_ of here? there's a whole world outside of this college, bro, there's other things we could do, there's so many things we could do in every place we could go to." brandon explained.

"i...i don't know. maybe..." my voice trailed off. i looked him over one more time, his stance, the way he kept brushing his fingers through his hair when he was thinking really hard. i stepped back into my room, gesturing for him to sit down at my desk. while he pulled out the chair and sat down, i sat on the edge of my bed and finally thought of an answer.

"maybe because i think about what might happen if i missed a class? maybe...i think about all the stress too much and that just causes me to work too hard?" i continued. as i spoke, i saw brandon start smiling, and when i said the last word he laughed a little.

" _there_ you go. now you're thinking." he said, his tone happy. he stood up and sat down right next to me, his shoulder hitting against mine. "stress is a part of our _lives_ , bro--but wouldn't it be nice to just, _forget_ about it for a while?" brandon leaned a little closer with every word he said. i looked into his eyes, that perfect shade of brown that i think about before i fall asleep every night.

"yeah. it would be nice," i replied, my voice suddenly soft. brandon got closer. closer. his face was now only a few inches from mine.

the thought of kissing him entered my mind. i imagined that his lips were so soft. i thought about running my fingers through his hair, tugging, making him know that i was enjoying the kiss as much as he was.

the way he was leaning toward me...it was as if he wanted to kiss me too. so i moved closer, but didn't close my eyes. he continued to make eye contact with me--and all i wanted to do was wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him already but then-

"so let's go somewhere." he whispered. i blinked, processing his words. "w-what?"

"let's do it. let's finally give in to what we've been feeling." brandon stood up, and the bed shifted under the sudden loss of weight. i kept my eyes on brandon as he walked to the middle of my room, then faced me. he spread his arms wide as if he was preaching something to a huge crowd of people.

"what are you...what do you mean?" i said. brandon's smile was now permanent, and that caused me to mirror his smile right back. it wasn't hard to feel happy when i saw him smile, every time i saw him flash those perfect teeth towards me.

"get up, grab yo keys, your phone, 'cause we're going _right now_." brandon said, performing those actions before i did them myself. i watched him in shock as he walked around the room, seeing my room and car key on the table and grabbing it, and seeing my phone on my chair and also putting it into his pocket.

"bro, what the _fuck_ \--" i began, but before i was even able to finish my sentence, brandon grabbed my left hand and pulled me out the door. he locked it behind me, and then started running towards the exit. did i mention i didn't even have proper shoes on? all i had on were slides, and i didn't even know where he was taking me.

"i don't want to go outside right now, it's cold," i laughed, my free hand covering my shoulder because i didn't even have a fucking shirt on. brandon laughed in reply, not even giving me a proper response. all i could do was run after him so he didn't pull my arm out of its socket, and i followed him into the college parking lot to his car.

"get in loser, we're going shopping," brandon said, unlocking the car and letting go of my hand so i could get into the passenger seat. i felt empty. just a second ago he was holding my hand so tightly, now the warmth of his fingers is just... _gone_. i didn't even feel like laughing at that corny movie line anymore.

"what are we even gonna do at night?" i said, getting my phone and keys back from his pocket while he started the car. i looked around, searching for something to put on. it was getting colder by the minute. brandon noticed. and while the car was rolling out of the parking lot, he pulled off his collegiate hoodie and handed it to me. i nearly screamed when a stray cat ran in front of the moving car.

"chill, ed, chill. i got the wheel again, don't worry." brandon chuckled as i gripped the hoodie's fabric, fearing for my life. i watched him with wild eyes, wondering what he'd do next. i wasn't really the type of person who got scared that quickly, but something about him and what he did made me feel on edge.

"what are we gonna do?" i repeated. i pulled his hoodie over my head, then caught myself taking a sniff before i realized i was such a crazy, weird person. but hey, he smelled like fresh air and a hint of versace cologne or something. and that's _attractive_. once i had the hoodie on, i didn't want to take it off.

"we're gonna crash a grocery store and have...just a little sleepover." brandon said with a little snicker. my eyes widened.

"you don't mean..." my voice trailed off.

in a few minutes, brandon pulled up in front of a safeway. "yes, edwin. that's exactly what i mean." he turned to face me and i saw the most mischievous smirk on his face. i laughed.

"you're _crazy_ \--i'm not doing this. no." i said, crossing my arms and shaking my head. but my smile gave away the fact that i was amused. brandon sighed.

"come on, ed, we're already here. you can't walk back to your dorm room without me anyway, i'm the one who provided the transportation..." brandon sing-songed, shaking the car keys in front of me in a taunting way. he winked at me, and i nearly melted. i rolled my eyes, then stared at my watch. safeway would be closing in about ten minutes. brandon wasn't kidding.

"come on, the store's closing soon! we gotta find a hiding spot!" brandon exclaimed, playfully pushing my shoulder and then getting out of the car. i slowly did the same, my thoughts racing with every passing second. we could get arrested. we could get in trouble. we could get in serious, _deep_ trouble. is this against the law? i don't even know.

"damn...the boy's not kidding," i thought aloud, _still_ trying to process the idea of having an overnight stay in a fucking grocery store. how did brandon even get this idea?

"let's go! do i need to pull you again?" brandon laughed so loudly, i almost expected FBI choppers to appear out of nowhere and police cars start driving up to us. i watched him as he extended his hand towards me, and then i intertwined my fingers with his. i saw him smile at me once again, and soon enough, i was walking with him into safeway.

" _this is crazy_ ," i whispered, feeling as if a million cameras were following our every move.

"then again, ed, i've seen so many people do this on youtube--we'll be alright," brandon laughed again. at least his laugh and his voice was softer, because that kinda eased my nervousness a bit.

"all we need to do now is find a hiding place. you got your phone?" brandon asked, showing me that he had his. i nodded, doing the same. "good. now go find a hiding place. and don't get caught."

my eyes widened, my heart beating faster. brandon ran away from me and looked back, smiled, then continued to run until he was out of sight. _what am i supposed to do now? what the fuck?_ i balled up my fists, my chest rising and falling as i got higher with adrenaline. i started thinking about where to hide--maybe behind a shelf? deep into the middle of two shelves? i don't even know.

i stared at the floor, closing my eyes for a second. then i opened them. closed them. looked to the left. looked to the right-- _there_.

as if it was a miracle, i saw a shelf full of paper towels that coincidentally blocked my view to the back of the shelf. i dropped to my knees, checking if anyone else was walking my way and listening for footsteps, and then took one of the paper towel packages off the shelf and onto the floor. there were many other packages behind it, but soon enough i found a wide enough space that looked like i could fit into it--without being seen.

i pressed my chest to the floor, mentally measuring and estimating if my height was suitable for this hiding place. and then i removed the amount of packages that measured up to my height. i tucked my body into the empty space, then built up a wall so that either side of me was blocked from light. of course, there were still cracks between each package, but i think i'm good for now.

and then my phone started vibrating, right against the metal surface of the shelf. a loud buzz made me flinch, and i nearly hit my head on the shelf platform above me. shaking my head at myself, i took out my phone from the pocket of brandon's hoodie.

"hello?" i whispered, as soft as possible.

"did you find a good spot?" brandon's voice answered me.

"how did you even--where'd you get my number?"

"while you were busy complaining, you didn't notice me typing my number into your phone and then calling myself. hey, i mean, isn't this useful now?" brandon laughed on the other line.

"shh! why are you talking so loudly? are you _asking_ for someone to catch you?"

"don't worry, bro, i'm crouched in the middle of an absurdly structured soda stand. i'm surrounded. i'm good."

"okayyy...well, i'm hiding behind a bunch of paper towels. keep me posted if you get killed."

"roger that. i'll call you again thirty minutes after closing. get some sleep if you can."

brandon hung up.

\--

even though i was really in an uncomfortable sleeping position, i was surprised to wake up to another loud buzz from my phone against the metal. i looked around for a second, the lights still coming at me from in between the paper towel packages, and i remembered where i was.

"bro! we did it! you can get out now!" brandon's loud ass voice immediately made me wake up even more. all of a sudden, a paper towel package fell off the shelf. brandon peeked at me through the hole, and that's when i actually got scared and hit my head.

" _ow_ , holy _shit_ ," i cursed, cradling my forehead with one hand and then rolling out of the shelf onto the floor. all the paper towels were spread out around me, because i'd just knocked all of them over, but all i could focus on was my throbbing forehead. before i could adjust to the bright lights of the store, brandon hooked his arms under mine and lifted me up.

for one moment his arms were wrapped around me, and i was just slumped on his chest. then i stood up to my full height, making eye contact with him. he was so close.

"we did it." brandon whispered, his eyes going from mine...to my lips...back to my eyes. i watched his face, scanning for any sign that he was going to actually kiss me this time...and then he actually did it.

our faces moved even closer until i felt his breath on my lips, and then i just gave in. i pressed my lips to his as light as possible, and then i felt brandon's hands lower to my waist. his grip was strong, like he didn't want to let me go. i took that as a green light, and i placed my hands on his arms while he pulled me even closer and kissed me back.

the kiss was short, but i could tell after we both opened our eyes that it was enough...for the moment, at this point in time. and our faces, our feelings, our heartbeats...all just one big smile.

"so, what do we do now?" i said. brandon shrugged, his eyes staying on me.

a part of me wanted to stay in his arms as long as possible...but times likes these don't happen every single day.

it's not everyday we find ourselves locked in a grocery store, all alone...

with so many types of food right at our fingertips.

nevertheless...i found a new person in my life.

and if he helps get me out of my comfort zone, if he makes me feel this _free_...

free of stress, free of any negative thoughts, free of worries...

then i want to start spending as much time as possible with him in the next few days.

or weeks.

maybe even years.

but who knows?

only the best things happen when you least expect it.


	14. spending the night: zion and austin

zion.

i put the cellphone up to my ear, waiting for austin to speak.

"hey, z!"

"hey man, what's up?"

"s'alright if i sleep over at your place tonight? we gotta work on the school project today because it's literally due tomorrow and i don't want something to happen like last time."

i laughed, remembering when austin and i didn't finish our project for history and we had to make it up by writing a one-page essay. i nodded my head, then realized he wasn't there to see my response.

"yeah, that'll be fine. i just need to tell mom." i said, looking towards the kitchen and seeing her preparing dinner.

after ending the conversation and telling austin to bring the markers and supplies over along with his sleep stuff, i walked over to my mom and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. she was cutting tomatoes to make her homemade pasta sauce. good thing she was making that, because austin had always told her that was his favorite dish that she made.

"hey ma, austin's gonna sleep over tonight. he just called me--we're just gonna finish our project for school." she immediately raised an eyebrow, turning to face me while she put the knife down on the counter.

"yeah, you're saying that now, but i bet i'll be hearing you guys playing video games until early in the morning." she sneered, and i knew she was right. i shook my head, though. sometimes me and austin just gotta have our game time. nobody else gotta know.

"while you're waiting for him to come over, could you help me with setting up the table? elom's upstairs in the bathroom and kekeli's doing the laundry, so you're the one who has to do it." mom laughed, playfully sticking her finger in my side and making me laugh with her. i sighed and then got the plates out of the dishwasher, following her orders.

as soon as austin entered the house, mom did the same thing she did every time he came over. she commented on his hair. it's like a mother-son relationship, the thing that they have.

"austin, hun, when are you gonna get a haircut? pretty soon your hair's gonna reach the floor and you won't be able to see." she laughed, hugging him and then letting him take off his shoes.

"i'll just put this up in the room and then come back down," austin stated, getting a nod from my mom before he went upstairs. i finished up the table and heard elom greeting austin upstairs, the occasional laugh coming from both guys. it's been like this ever since he became my closest friend.

every time he slept over, my mom told him to get a haircut, elom and austin did their handshake that i really couldn't get, kekeli ignored me and austin when we screamed at the tv screen while playing video games. he had slowly become a part of my family, and i loved that.

and then there we were, sitting on the floor of my room and finishing our tri-fold poster for history.

"could you pass me the glue stick?" i asked, gesturing to the disappearing purple glue stick laying beside austin. he nodded and handed it to me, then watched as i stuck on the last cutout image.

"and we're done!" austin cheered, clapping his hands a few times to celebrate our achievement. i smiled at his happiness, glad to see him glad. he looked off to the side, staring at my laptop.

"d'you wanna help me get more accustomed to fortnite?" he asked, reminding me that he just bought the game at home and he wasn't really good at it yet. i nodded, then sat beside him at my desk.

a few minutes passed, the air in the room filled with keyboard sounds and austin cursing if he did something wrong. but after a while of playing the game and showing him the ropes, austin asked me a single question that changed the mood of the room.

"have you ever thought about dating a guy?" he asked straight out. i blinked at him, my heart starting to beat a little faster. my initial thoughts were: why was he thinking about that? why did he think of asking me? why did he choose this time to ask me, when we've known each other for such a long time already?

"no...why?" i replied, my voice softer than i wanted it to be.

"because--i have. recently." he paused the game, making the silence in the room even louder.

"why do you...what do you think about dating a guy?" i struggled to find the right words. austin could probably sense my confusion and shock. he shrugged, tapping his fingers on the armrest of the chair he sat in.

"it's just, like, you know how i've had so many problems with girls, right? i never knew the right thing to say when a problem happened between me and my girlfriend. girls understand things differently than guys sometimes, and some guys could understand girls, but i've come to realize that i'm not one of them."

"and what brought this to mind?"

"um...you." austin made eye contact with me for the first time in the past few minutes. i let out a nervous laugh, much to my surprise. at that time, i didn't even know how to respond. how could i even make him think about all that? sure, he's right about the girl problem thing--he's gone through three awkward, confusing relationships with girls--but about the guy thing?

"what about me?" i probably sounded annoyed, because austin leaned back in the chair and took his hand away from the armrest. it was like he wanted to shrink back away from me, as if i just hit him or something. physically i didn't...but emotionally, i probably did.

"you're...you're my best friend and i'm really close to you. with the girls that i had a relationship with, i never felt close enough to them like i felt close enough to you. i know we're really great friends and i, too, feel like i'm just a part of your family, but...there has to be a reason why i feel this way towards you." while he spoke, he placed his hand on my shoulder and turned the chair so his arm was right next to mine.

in my mind, i heard a small voice that kept telling me to move away--move away from him, sit somewhere else, just don't come in contact with him. but for some reason my body didn't follow my brain. and so i stayed in place.

"so, um, do you feel like you're g-" 

i couldn't say it.

it didn't feel right to...not just yet.

"yeah, z. i'm beginning to think i am." austin replied, leaning back in the chair. he stared at the ceiling, while i stared at the ground.

"and you're starting to think about dating guys? or trying it out?" i asked.

"yup."

"and...do you have, like, feelings for me or something?"

shit, that sounded so weird for me to say. but austin nodded in reply.

"listen, z...i know this sounds weird--i could tell be your facial reactions--but just know that i'm really glad you're here. i'm grateful that you're the first person i even told about this. about...how i think i'm more interested in guys." austin's voice was slow.

"yeah...i, i know." i made eye contact with him again.

"thank you, z." austin's voice was even quieter.

silence.

his hand, resting on my shoulder, started to move to the back of my neck. to my surprise, i started to relax. without realizing what i was doing, i moved closer to him. it felt like just that simple touch, the feeling of his hand on my neck, made me want him to do more.

i couldn't breathe right. i didn't know what to do, so i just gave in. austin moved even closer. he looked like he was already right in front of me, but there was still space left between us. i saw him glance down at my lips, then back to my eyes. i gulped, wondering if he was going to do it.

was he?

was i going to...kiss him back if he did?

was i going to hate it...or regret it?

so many questions and answers filled my head, but the voice in my head yelled at me right before he touched his lips to mine.

_see how this will go._

_do it._


	15. kinks*: brandon and nick

brandon.

"so...do you have one?" halie's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"hm?" i raised my eyebrows.

halie sighed, putting down her burger and folding her arms. we were out for lunch on one of my days off, having some sibling quality time at in n out. but all i could think about was him.

"brandon, have you even been hearing me talk?" she laughed, leaning forward. i sighed then shook my head.

"sorry sis...i just got sidetracked. could you just repeat everything you said in the past few minutes?" i laughed awkwardly.

"we were talking about kinks...or at least, _i_ " was." halie's voice grew lower. my eyes widened--then i remembered.

halie was talking to me about her relationship and how it was going, and then we started talking about the unmentionable part. at least, i personally think sex is weird to talk about in a public place like this, but halie's more confident than me so that's how we got there.

she had started talking to me about what she liked and her partner liked, but when she mentioned being in the shower with her partner, my mind had quickly switched to my own shared-shower experience.

with nick.

"ohhh, kinks..." i gave her another awkward laugh. she rolled her eyes, then picked up her burger again and took a hearty bite out of it.

"the thing is, bro, the only way topics like these could be less awk to talk about is if you actually talk about it more. i mean, it's a humane thing. there's no way you could avoid it sometimes, especially if you're a human." halie spoke while she chewed. i nodded slowly in reply.

"so again, brandon...do you have one?" halie asked again. i thought for a moment.

"um. no? at least i don't think i do?"

halie laughed.

"really, dude. think deeper. everyone has a kink, they just don't talk about it a lot or they're so used to themselves they don't recognize it." she pointed out. i nodded again.

"okay okay. well...according to my fans, they'd probably say i'd have a daddy kink. but personally...gosh this is a weird conversation to have with my sister... think i have a sensory deprivation kink?"

holy fuck, i feel so awkward.

but to my surprise, halie was chill about it. she just nodded and then continued on.

"oh yeah, i've heard about that one. pretty much you just like being dominant and making your partner do things for you, right? or are you the sub?" halie smirked at me.

"what the fuck, halie, keep your voice down." i glared at her. she covered her mouth and laughed.

"and how many times have you done that with nick?" she asked.

 _nick_. my boyfriend of three years. and we've been going _strong_.

we've done that quite a few times if you ask me. even though so many of our fans point out that we both look like we have daddy kinks, we don't. actually, i loved being dominant and nick loved being the sub. fuck our age difference. it's not like age could affect how much pleasure i give him.

just thinking about the times we've done that made me get a bit hard. but i need to wait a little longer, at least until my sister goes home and i'm able to see nick when i drive to our house.

"just a few," i lie. halie nods.

the rest of the conversation breezed by. we talked about our daily lives, some fun we had, how school is going, and how much we missed sibling quality time. after we finished eating, halie patted me on the shoulder and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"always remember to use rubbers," halie winked at me as she spoke, making me shove her shoulder playfully. she laughed as she walked away, waving goodbye and telling me that we'll see each other again before this short vacay is over.

and then i ran to my car.

my mind was racing as i drove quickly to our band house, my thoughts filled with 'i hope no one's home except nick'. and luckily, my wish came true. i stepped out of my car on the driveway and walked up to the door, unlocking it and then calling out nick's name. my heart beat faster when i heard his voice reply to me.

"you're back--how was lunch with halie?" nick walked towards me from the kitchen, wiping his hands on the apron he was wearing. i glanced at the counter and saw that he was baking something.

"it was great, as always," i replied, walking to him and easily sliding my arms around his waist. nick kissed me on the cheek and for the millionth time i felt happier just because of one of his kisses.

"meanwhile i've just been baking cookies here because why the fuck not?" nick smiled at me, stepping away and then returning to the counter. i watched him stir the dough in the mixing bowl, but before he could even start making more progress, i came up behind him and slid my arms around his waist again. my senses grew stronger as i felt his back against my chest.

i felt his ass move against my crotch when he reached for the cinnamon on the shelf, and i had to stop myself from letting out a groan.

"me and halie were having a conversation about...sexual stuff," i lowered my voice, putting my head on his left shoulder. nick put more cinnamon in the batter, raising his eyebrows and smiling.

"oh, really? what do you mean by sexual stuff?"

"you know, like...kinks...and being with your partner..."

"oh okay. and she revealed hers to you?"

for a moment i thought back to the conversation, but i remembered i was too spaced out that time to hear everything she said.

"yeah, probably. my mind was honestly somewhere else."

"why, may i ask?" nick's smile grew wider. i could tell he was starting to read my mind.

"i was just thinking about the things _we_ do." i went right out and told him. nick laughed softly, then put down the cinnamon on the counter. he turned around to face me, and my fingers gripped his waist harder than i meant them to. he put his hands on my chest and then on my waist, staring down at the floor and then making eye contact with me.

"and can you remind me...what specific things _do_ we do?" nick's voice lowered to a whisper. i fought the urge to groan again. he knew how much he could mess me up just by lowering his voice seductively.

"i tell you to close your eyes and let me take care of you."

"and i let you make me feel... _so...good._ " nick slowed down his words, his eyes looking up at me. i pressed myself against him, my waist pressed against his. i let myself kiss his neck, biting softly and kissing his skin right after so he felt more pleasure than pain. i kissed him along his jawline and then by his ear, nipping the edge with my teeth and then kissing a line down to his shoulder.

i felt his chest rise up against mine, his heart beginning to beat faster. i watched his face, making eye contact with him and seeing how much he needed me at the moment. i pressed my lips against his and felt nick's hand going through my hair, tugging lightly and making me groan against his lips. i tasted chocolate on his lips, probably from nick trying out how his batter tasted.

my tongue collided with his, leaning into him as much as i could and kissing him hard. before i could do anything else, i felt nick start moving his waist to meet mine. the sudden friction made me shudder, and i inhaled sharply through clenched teeth.

"mm, _fuck_ ," i cursed, my voice strained. nick opened his eyes and looked at me again, then glanced down. i watched his reaction as i started grinding against him, my fingers holding his waist in place as i gave us both the pleasure we wanted.

nick raised his left hand to his face, then i watched as he gripped his hair tightly. i heard his breathing become more raspy, and as i continued to move against him, he bit his lip harshly.

soon enough he didn't know what to do with his hands. he feverishly moved them through his hair, but when that wasn't enough, he covered his face with his hands as i grinded against him a little harder. he moaned a few times, making me groan in reply. his sounds were way too good to hear.

then he placed his hands on my jacket, asking to take it off. i nodded, and sadly i had to stop moving against him for a second to take off that shit as fast as possible. it landed on the floor of the kitchen, forgotten for the time being.

wordlessly i reached behind him and struggled to untie the stupid apron, and once i finally got that off, i pulled his shirt up over his head and let it join my jacket on the floor.

in place of the shirt, i let my kisses cover the exposed skin. i left love bites in the places he liked--on his collarbone and his neck. i triggered his senses more by running my fingers softly over his skin, passing over his nipples and his abs. nick shivered under my touch, and when i finally reached the waistline of his sweats, i didn't hesitate to undo the knot that held them up. i let them fall around his ankles and then started palming him through his boxers.

his hand immediately gripped the fabric of my shirt. his eyes were squeezed shut, his lips parted. he gave me more sweet sounds as i let my hand do the work, and pretty soon i wasn't the only one rock hard.

i suddenly stopped touching him and watched his eyes fly open, making eye contact with me and taking a deep breath. i unbuckled my belt and then pulled it out of my belt loops, hearing the buckle hit the floor. i unbuttoned my jeans and then let them fall to my feet, and without a single command, nick spat onto his palm to make it wet. he pulled my dick out over the waistband, and i felt his fingers wrap around it. 

nick's movements were slow. his wet, gentle hand moved up and down my dick, from the base to tip. everytime his fingers neared the tip, he turned his hand a little and it moved me closer to the edge.

by that time i was a mess. i knew i had to keep holding myself back until we both reached our highs, so i kept nick as my number one priority even though i was his.

"stop," i breathed, gripping his wrist so he would stop jacking me off. nick let go slowly, and we both took deep breaths.

"sit down there." i pointed to one of the dining table's chairs, and nick stepped out of his sweats and obeyed. seeing him sitting there and waiting made me clench my teeth. oh, how i wanted to wreck him until he couldn't walk right. i could literally just fuck him hard in that chair until all i could hear is his voice, louder than mine, begging for me to keep going until he released.

but it's only fair to help him out as much as he helped me so far.

i kicked my jeans off to the side and reached up behind me, grabbing the neckline of my shirt and pulling it over my head. i tossed it on the floor close to nick's chair.

i made my way over to nick, brushing my fingers through my hair one last time before placing my hands on his shoulders. i leaned close to him, my lips near his ear.

"let _me_ help you now..." i whispered, biting the edge of his ear one more time and hearing him moan for me. i left another hickey on his neck, taking my time with that one and making him moan for me again.

"may i?" i gestured to my shirt on the floor, making eye contact with nick and letting my eyes tell him what i was gonna do. after all, he was the love of my life and i respected him with my whole being. i'd only do things to him if he gave me consent first. nick bit his lip and nodded, and i kissed him again as thanks.

picking up my shirt from the floor, i held it the long way and folded it into a long rectangle. slowly and gently, i fixed it over his eyes and made sure it was secure. i looked him over, seeing him sit calmly on the chair with his legs spread apart.

now it was time to let my lips do the talking.

i moved behind him, my chest facing the back of the chair, and i placed my hands on his shoulders. from his shoulders, i drew my fingers ever so lightly across his skin, brushing over his nipples and back down to his waist. i traced curves and lines, everywhere i knew he was sensitive at. at one point he looked up and parted his lips, asking for a kiss, but all i gave him was a quick kiss at the edge of his lips. giving him what he asked for...but not one hundred percent satisfaction. i walked around so we faced each other and then got on my knees.

i pushed his knees apart more so i could fit comfortably in between them. i watched him sit patiently, his hands gripping the sides of the chair. keeping my eyes on his face, i lowered my head to his knees. i touched my lips to his skin, sometimes dragging my bottom lip across it as if i was going to kiss him completely. sometimes he moved his leg closer, but then i pushed him away with my hand.

i started from his knee and worked my way closer to where he needed me most, but even when i got closer to his v-line, i only left quick kisses on his skin. pretty soon he was moving towards me more, asking and only getting a little in return.

"please brandon, i need you," nick breathed, biting his bottom lip. for a second i stood up and caressed his side with my right hand, gripping strands of his hair with my left, and kissing him harshly. then i stopped.

i went back to where i was. i couldn't take it anymore.

with one hand i drew my fingers along his thigh, drawing lines closer and closer to his dick. i left one more love bite near his v-line, earning a soft moan in reply. seeing the way he reacted to a simple gesture made me inhale sharply.

i moved my fingers from tracing lines on his skin to the base of his dick. the sudden contact made him buck his hips towards the ceiling, and he let out another sweet sound.

music to my ears.

"try and stay still, baby, or else i won't let you ride me." i ordered. all at once nick stopped moving. i could tell he wanted to so badly, his fingers gripped the sides of the chair as if that was the only thing holding him back.

so i continued.

with my hand on the base of his dick and my other hand on his thigh, i lowered my head and parted my lips. nick groaned when i took him in my mouth, my head bobbing slowly. his breathing was quick, and the sounds of him panting filled the room.

i twisted my hand gently around the base, the section of his length i couldn't take in. i continued to move my head at a rhythm, swirling my tongue around his tip whenever i moved upwards.

after a few minutes nick's fingers weaved through my hair and i felt his grip tighten on the strands, making me let out a moan while i moved my head down.

i couldn't help but jack myself off while nick made sounds...just because of me.

my pace became faster when i knew he wanted it to, and when he released, it was beautiful. i felt him grow tense before he came, and when i moved away and used my hand to finish him off, he arched his back and let out a groan that almost made me cum untouched.

if i was any weaker...i would have.

but i had enough energy to stand up, kiss his neck and then make out with him while i untied his blindfold.

i pulled him to stand, and he immediately wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me back. his lips moved feverishly on mine, then down to my neck. i let him leave a few love bites before i moved to sit down on the chair, and i didn't have to ask before nick seated himself on my lap.

and now i was the one breathing heavily.

nick grinded against me, our bare skin giving each other the friction that felt oh, so good. nick made out with me, his tongue moving with mine inside our mouths. he gripped my hair as he kissed me, but then he broke away after a few seconds.

for a moment we stayed there, staring at each other and hearing each other's quick breaths.

nick placed his free hand on the side of my face, moving a bit close to me. i closed my eyes and moved to kiss him, but instead of feeling his soft lips against mine once more, i heard nick whisper to me instead.

" _fuck me_."

his words caused me to shiver, and i felt that from my head to my toes. i placed a hand on his waist, my grip strong.

my other hand was raised to his face, and i lightly touched his bottom lip with my index and middle fingers. his lips parted, and i moved my fingers in. i kept my eyes on him as he licked my fingers with his tongue, making sure to coat it with saliva in the sexiest way possible. after my fingers were wet enough i moved them towards his entrance, and without hesitation, he moved and eased himself onto them.

he tilted his head back and placed his hands on my shoulders, keeping himself steady on me. i couldn't stop staring at him.

"i can't wait anymore, babe, please, i want you inside me for real." nick breathed, his words sometimes broken between moans. and i obeyed.

i lined myself up and pushed in, making sure i wasn't rushing him. when he was comfortable enough for me to go all the way in, he started raising himself up and going down at his own pace.

i sat back and let him do the work this time.

moans and groans filled the air, our bodies moving apart and coming together with a steady rhythm.

while we made love, i thought about how lucky i was.

it's not just having someone to have sex with. it's about finding someone who you can make _love_ to.

nick will always be the perfect one for me, and he makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world because i know for sure that he loves me and he knows i love him too.

people like nick don't just come in thousands around the world, there's only one nicholas carter mara.

and he's mine.


	16. leave a like and subscribe: austin and brandon

austin.

it was ten minutes after i called brandon when i finally heard him knock on the front door. i got up from my chair in the kitchen, brushing my hair back with my fingers before unlocking the door and opening it.

brandon stood outside, and i scanned him over for a split second before gesturing for him to come in.

seeing him wearing a hoodie always made me think of how cute he was. and today he was wearing his red polo hoodie that i had bought him for his birthday.

"i like your hoodie, bro, where'd you get it from?" i joked, watching him take off his shoes and put his backpack down on the carpet. he turned to face me, his smile brightening up my world.

"honestly, i forgot who gifted this to me. i think it was...i don't know, zion kuwonu?" brandon teased, mentioning our friend from school. i laughed and shoved his shoulder.

"anywayyy...i got the lighting and camera set up. you ready to film?" i asked. brandon nodded, taking his phone from his backpack and putting it in the pocket of his hoodie. he reached up to brush his fingers through his hair, and i couldn't help but stare.

seeing my friend--who was also my crush--do something so innocent yet so sexual like that made me feel the need to take a deep breath. and i did so, turning away from him and then grabbing two sodas from the fridge.

"alright well...let's head upstairs then." i continued. i tossed one soda to brandon and he caught it effortlessly.

we walked upstairs side by side, then headed into our filming room.

ever since we were freshmen in high school--about three years ago--we've had a youtube channel that has accumulated more than a million subscribers up to this day. the videos we posted were mostly challenges, with an assortment of vlogs.

and the reason why brandon even became my crush was because of that channel.

since we worked together to manage that channel, we spent a lot of time together, and the friendship sometimes turned into something more. so i let myself fall in like with brandon. sure, i don't know for sure if he feels even a slight attraction towards me, but i guess the happiness and excitement he gives me during every video makes up for that.

we sat down in our office chairs after we turned on the camera and did a light check, and then i pressed the button on the camera for the filming to start.

"what is up guys, it's us again: brandon and austin, the kingsofallthings!" brandon beamed at the camera, and i nodded to him.

"today we're going to be doing something that has been _highly_ requested by all y'all." i gestured to the big crowd in the camera.

"we're going to be playing truth or dare: blindfolded edition!" brandon said, waving the blindfold that he had been holding.

"but before we start the game, just a reminded to leave a like and hit that subscribe button to be a part of our amazing kingdom. now brandon, may you please tell us the rules of the game and how this will go?"

"of course, austin--it's pretty simple, too, so make sure to remember this for sleepovers, parties, anywhere you wanna do it. now the way this game is going to work is that on someone's turn, they have to be blindfolded. the other person will hold out their two hands and in each hand, a paper will be on it. one of the papers will be a truth, the other, a dare. so it's basically luck, if you get the paper you want." brandon explained.

as he spoke, he held up the blindfold and i held up a sandwich bag filled with folded-paper truths, and another filled with dares.

"okay, let's decide who goes first with rock paper scissors. two out of three wins." i said, putting down the bags on my lap.

after a minute passed, brandon clapped and bowed.

"sorry austin, i guess you gotta go first," he said, laughing a little. i shrugged, smiling. he helped me tie the blindfold on, and once he made sure i couldn't see anything, he held out the papers. i reached out my hand and touched his, my smile getting a little bigger. i grabbed the paper from it and then took off the blindfold.

"truth: describe what your crush l-looks like." _shit shit, why the fuck did i stammer?_ i gulped.

"okay, well, my crush has brown hair, and also my crush looks like a hipster you would find in a starbucks." i laughed, seeing brandon laugh with me.

"wow, so many details, i totally know who this is," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes at me. i shrugged, trying so hard to just play it cool. i really hope he wasn't just covering the truth up with his sarcastic tone.

"okay okay okay. you go now." i said, taking the bags from him and then tying the blindfold over his eyes. i grabbed one truth and one dare, then told him to go ahead.

brandon reached towards me, his hand stretching out farther than where my hands were. i laughed, but then stopped when brandon's hand touched my shoulder. it is a really childish thing to feel, but...when he touched my shoulder, i couldn't help but feel like my shoulder was on fire. _what if he had kept his hand there?_

"oops, my bad bro, i overcalculated where your hand was," brandon laughed nervously, then got the place right on the second try. he grabbed the dare.

"aw yes, a dare! okay. um, dare: call an _acquaintance_ of yours and tell them they left their underwear in your house-- _what?!_ " brandon laughed loudly. i snickered.

"bro, oh my god you should call zion's sister!" i suggested, my eyes widening. brandon raised his eyebrows.

"are you serious? austin come on that's so weird, we don't even talk to each other that much when i'm hanging out at zion's!" brandon chuckled.

"come on, brandon, this is truth or dare. you can't skip any." i crossed my arms. brandon sighed, then took his phone out. i clapped, a mischievous look on my face. _now that's quality content._

brandon's cellphone rang four times before kekeli finally picked up. brandon held the phone a little bit closer to the camera so the sound would be loud enough for the viewers to hear.

"hello?" kekeli's voice filled the room. i covered my mouth and tried not to laugh too loudly.

"oh hey, kekeli?" brandon said.

"hi brandon...why're you calling me?"

"just wanted to say...i had a great time with you that night. by the way you left your bra here."

i let out a laugh as brandon hung up, not even letting kekeli say a word in reply. we laughed a few seconds while brandon put his phone back in the pocket.

"bro, what the flip was she gonna say?" i spoke between laughs. brandon shrugged.

"i don't know--i'm just glad i hung up before something really went down!" he smiled.

brandon put the blindfold on me again and then let me choose, and this time i got a dare.

"dare: let the other person put duct tape on any part of your body and then rip it off." i read aloud. i paused for a second and let my jaw drop. _oh my fucking god._

"ooookay," brandon said, smirking.

"lemme just get the tape real quick." he said, going to the supply desk in the room and then grabbing duct tape from a random drawer

"whoa, what the flip we had duct tape in here? i didn't even know that." i said, turning back to the camera and making a worried facial expression. brandon walked back and unrolled a long ass piece of tape.

"no no no, brandon please, are you kidding me? make it a bit shorter, i don't want to lose half my hair in the process." i laughed. brandon sighed and then nodded, taking off less tape than he wanted to.

"ok so where do you wanna put it?" i asked. _he literally has the opportunity to tell me to take off clothes right now. oh my god._

"take off your jeans." he ordered. my eyes grew big. _out of all the things he could have chosen!_ i said nothing, just stood up and then started to strip. i pulled off my jeans as fast as i could, starting to feel a bit conscious about how i looked.

slowly, brandon touched the edge of the tape right near the hem of my boxers. _ohmygodohmygodohmygod. his hands are right there. ohmygod._

he gently smoothed the whole tape until the end reached halfway towards my knee, and then counting down, he ripped that tape off as fast as lightning.

i immediately bit my lip, blowing air through my teeth in pain--while i watched brandon laugh and laugh.

"bro that hurts like a female _dog_!" i exclaimed, punching his shoulder and knocking the tape out of his hand.

"your turn now! get that blindfold on. stop laughing at me." i continued, tying the blindfold and then holding the papers out. brandon got another dare.

but he didn't say it out loud. i raised my eyebrows.

"what's up? is there a typo or something?" i asked. brandon blinked at the paper, then he shook his head.

"no...but why is this dare even in here?" he asked slowly. i paused. _what...what's the dare?_

"this paper is telling me to put whipped cream, peanut butter or chocolate sauce on the other person, somewhere, and then i'm supposed to...lick it off." brandon's voice got a little lower.

i blinked. i processed what he just said.

"where did you get these truths and dares from?" brandon asked, looking at the sandwich bags as if they were grenades that had lost their pins. i looked back at him.

"brandon, uh...you're the one who printed them out. a few weeks ago, when we got the idea to do this." i replied. brandon stared back at the paper.

i was half expecting for him to crumple up the paper and throw it away, but what happened next surprised me.

"are you...are you cool with doing this though?" brandon asked me softly. i almost didn't hear him. i made eye contact with him, seeing kindness in his eyes. and something else. hope? need? i don't know.

"yeah, yeah--i mean, if you're cool then i'm cool. it's a dare anyway, ha ha, i just didn't know i would be involved." i said. brandon nodded.

"well if you're cool with it..." brandon's voice trailed off.

"i'll go get whipped cream downstairs." i said, getting off the chair and walking out the room.

_holy fuck._

_at first i was thinking he wouldn't even be down to do that._

_at first i thought i would be the only one out of the both of us who actually wanted to come through with that dare._

_at first i thought this would just be a chill game to play with a friend who just happened to be my crush._

_how is this gonna turn out?_

both positive and negative thoughts filled my mind as i grabbed whipped cream from the fridge. soon this will be on my body somewhere. soon brandon, my crush, my friend, will actually be the one to take it off. we've only been friends. will this change anything?

"alright, i'm back," i said as i returned to the room, sitting back down on the chair and then shaking the whipped cream. brandon was clasping his hands together tightly.

"you're good with this?" he said again.

"yeah, bro. it's a dare. it's a one-time thing." i said, taking off the whipped cream's cap. soundlessly i handed it to brandon and then waited for him to say something.

i watched his eyes, seeing them scan me over.

"you don't need to take off anything..." he said. _whew_.

brandon scooted his office chair closer to me, his knee bumping against mine. it felt hot to the touch. was he nervous too?

i stayed still as he put his finger on the nozzle of the whipped cream, and then i heard the 'kshhh' as he pressed on it. suddenly i felt cold on the right side of my neck. brandon had decided to paint a stripe from my jawline to my shoulder and i was too distracted to notice.

"alright, um...here goes." he whispered. he moved even closer to me.

then i felt his lips.

he was going from the top to bottom.

i felt his tongue swipe along my jawline, getting covered in whipped cream.

the contrast of cold and hot temperatures spread all over my body. i closed my eyes.

brandon parted his lips and got the whipped cream off little by little, and every time i felt his lips on my skin i fought the urge not to bite my lip. at one point he had to use his tongue for what felt like the longest time. and one time he accidentally bit me just as he was getting the whipped cream in that spot. i inhaled sharply, my fingers gripping the side of the chair.

brandon moved away quick as soon as he got the last bit of whipped cream, but then there was still a bit left on his lips. much to my pleasure--i mean, luck--his tongue stuck out and he swiped it slowly across the whipped cream. it was as if he wanted me to ask for more.

did i mention he was still only a few inches away from me?

"th-thanks for getting that whipped cream off my neck," i stammered, my grip on the chair loosening up a bit. brandon gave me a small smile and waited for what felt like an _hour_ before he spoke again.

"hopefully...that won't be the only time."


	17. life is strange: nick and austin (requested)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i might make a second part to this...like a cute, satisfying epilogue, maybe?

nick.

ever since me and austin got married, i've been the luckiest man in the world. and now i'm having his babies.

i remember seeing those two lines on the stick, feeling like my heart jumped out of my chest. austin was right there next to me, holding my hand tightly and leaning on my shoulder. as soon as i saw those two lines, i let out a sob.

austin sat up straight, looking at the stick and gasping out loud. _we're having a baby_ , he said, placing his hand on my cheek and turning my head to face his. his brown eyes were soft, filled with love. _we're starting a family._ i felt him press his lips on my cheek, replacing my happy tears with his kisses. _i'm carrying our baby._

seeing the positive test was one thing. the news that we were actually having _twins_ was another. but the baby shower was something else.

austin and i called up our friends from college, telling them to meet us here for the party. zion, brandon and edwin arrived an hour early, greeting me and austin at the door and taking the time to give angel, carter and me a hug.

angel was the name me and austin had decided on ever since we even thought about starting a family. angel was a genderfluid name, one that would stay in people's minds forever. angel's initials would match their dad's, and i've always loved that fact. carter was the name austin insisted on giving to our second baby, because of it also being genderfluid and because carter was my middle name.

zion and brandon had adopted two children themselves, kamrin and dallas. they got their names from the person who helped their parents get them in the first place.

the brother and sister ran into the house as soon as the door opened, and their parents followed closely behind. brandon greeted me with a smile, wrapping his arms around me gently and patting my back. zion joined in on the hug, causing brandon to laugh and gently push him away saying that he _might squish the twins._

"i'm so excited to see my godchildren in person," zion said, looking at my stomach that held two six-month-old babies. i nodded, rubbing my hands on my stomach. i felt a s soft kick, and a huge smile immediately appeared on my face. a few minutes passed while everyone got a turn to feel a kick.

"is there anything else we could help with before guests start coming?" edwin spoke, gesturing to a few boxes by the door. austin nodded.

"yeah, if you guys don't mind--we still gotta arrange the twins' presents that came in from my family." he said. austin's family lived in a place far from here, so everything by the door was just presents for the twins. zion, brandon and edwin brought the boxes upstairs and put it in the master bedroom while i rearranged the food trays on the dining table for the millionth time.

as i straightened out the tea sandwich platter, i looked over at austin, who was playing with kamrin and dallas. austin was holding kamrin's hands as he lifted him in the air, his feet dangling while dallas was on her tiptoes trying to reach her brother's feet. austin swung kamrin side to side, laughing while dallas continued to jump up and down. i felt tears start forming in my eyes, and i wiped them away.

"what's up, babe?" austin said, looking over at me. i shook my head while wiping my eyes with the back of my hands, laughing at myself and at dallas. _fuck hormones._

"nothing, nothing--you and the kids are so cute." i explained. austin nodded, turning back to our godchildren with a brighter smile. 

when dallas got bored, she walked over to me and watched me fix the plates for a few seconds before speaking.

"uncle carter?" she said. _she always called me by my middle name. and for some reason, she's the only person i let do that. maybe we just have a special kind of bond._ "yeah?"

"may i touch your tummy?" dallas asked. i nodded, giggling at how cute she was. i reached for her wrist and guided it to where i felt one of the twins' foot was, and as soon as dallas touched my stomach with her palm, she asked me a question.

"so, there are humans in there? not animals?"

"no, dallas, honey...i'm sorry you don't have a dog yet, but just so you know, there's no dog growing in my tummy." i smiled, recalling how zion and brandon told me that dallas wanted a dog so badly.

"oh, um. okay." dallas said with a poker face. but then one of the twins kicked, right where i knew their foot would be. dallas' eyes grew large.

"oh my gosh, one kicked me!" she exclaimed, shrinking back a little.

"don't worry, dallas, it's just a little sign that they're doing okay in there. d'you wanna feel again?"

slowly but surely, dallas let me put her hand on my stomach once again. this time a foot was pressed against the surface of my stomach, so dallas was able to trace around it with her finger.

"i wonder if my daddy traced my foot with his finger," dallas spoke so softly, i almost didn't hear her.

i couldn't find the words to say then...so i gave her a hug.

luckily, it wasn't long before her parents came back downstairs. zion walked into the kitchen and checked if everything was still clean--to my request--while brandon arranged the chairs around the house so everyone would have a place to sit.

the house filled up quickly as soon as the party started, and my heart filled with love as everyone spent some quality time with each other and with the twins. dallas' hand was only one of the many hands who felt a kick that night, and the thing that delighted me most was to see each person's reaction. some didn't say anything, just gave me the brightest smile. some said that the twins will walk all over us as soon as they get out of me.

austin stayed close by my side, one hand on my lower back and the other hand shaking our guests'. every once in a while i would see austin smiling at me in the corner of my eye, which only made my heart beat even faster.

life was perfect.

"to angel and carter...and the many lives they will change for the better." zion said, raising his glass full of 'apple juice'. everyone mirrored him, me raising my glass filled with real apple juice the highest.

" _to angel and carter!_ " we harmonized. the sounds of glass clinking glass, shutters and cheering filled the room, and for once in my whole life, i felt like i was in the place where i needed to be.

"hey, babe," austin placed his hand on my shoulder about an hour later. i turned to him.

"yeah?"

"i'll be back here real quick, okay? i just gotta drop off edwin at home...he had a little too much apple juice." austin gestured to our best friend, who was sitting on the couch and talking about different kinds of baby food with anyone who listened. i smiled and nodded, giving him the keys to the car.

"where are zion, brandon and the kids?"

"they're hanging out with their friends somewhere in the house...i haven't seen them recently. but it's okay, nick, i could drive edwin home. i'm glad his house isn't too far." austin brushed his hair back with his fingers as he spoke. i nodded and watched him head towards edwin, helping him stand and then walking with him out the door before anyone could strike up a conversation.

while austin dropped edwin off, i walked up to luke and michael, two more of our high school friends. we caught up on each other's lives, and we started a nice conversation about how i should decorate the twins' room. a few minutes later, zion started a baby shower game, and brandon ended up winning a decorated picture frame and a gift card.

the party breezed by, each person greeting me with a smile. a smile stayed on my face too, for such a long time. i didn't think much about how long austin had been gone until zion suddenly pulled me aside.

he spoke words into my ear that i had never prepared for. i forgot how to smile.

tears started flowing down my face. at first i tried to hold it together, taking deep breaths and clenching my fists so i could keep myself centered. but as the seconds passed, it felt as if my lungs were crushing me, pushing all the air out and forcing me to struggle to breathe.

austin had gotten into a car accident.

"nick, i got you," zion whispered to me. i had fallen into his arms without knowing, my chest heaving. his arms were wrapped around me, and i heard someone sobbing loudly. it took a few seconds for me to realize that that person was me.

zion's voice, telling me about what he had heard from the police, faded away. i heard brandon's voice in the distance, sounding like he was across the room when really he was a few inches away. he was telling everyone something about an accident...everyone having to leave...

"here nick, sit down." zion continued to support me while he guided me to a chair, and i fell into it. by now i was sure that everyone's eyes was on me. _no, nick. be strong. you can't let kamrin and dallas see you like this. you can't let anyone see you like this._ but i just couldn't.

i felt zion move my head onto his shoulder, and i closed my eyes. i let myself cry, as loud as my voice would let me. everyone was gone. i heard zion's soft voice tell brandon to go on home and to bring the kids with him, and soon enough it was just me and zion in the house.

it felt so lonely.

i felt like i was the only person left in the whole world, even as i cried in zion's arms.

the worst part was when i realized that the person i wanted to talk to the most wasn't there for me anymore.

and so i stayed home.

the world had crashed down all around me so i stayed home.

i don't know who went to the funeral that zion, brandon and edwin had set up. i was at home.

i don't know how many times they came over to my house, using the spare key to check on me and make sure i even ate something. i just stayed home, rotating between my bed, the kitchen and the bathroom. i was surprised with myself when i let one of them bring me to the hospital for my appointments.

the only thing keeping me sane was the fact that i had the twins with me all this time. and my friends knew that.

"do you need another warm water bottle?" edwin asked one day when he was in the house. i was laying back on the couch, turning austin's bracelet around my wrist. it was the first thing i saw as soon as i walked into our bedroom that night, and i've worn it ever since.

i shook my head.

"do you want something to eat?"

i shook my head again.

edwin walked over to the couch, sitting on the other end and touching his toes to mine. whenever i looked into my friends' eyes, i see pity and sadness. it's easy to see it. and i know that staring into their sad eyes won't help my emotions, but it's just helpful to know that i'm not the only one who's feeling like shit anymore.

edwin glanced at my stomach, which grew heavier every day. i often found myself carrying my stomach as if it was a baby carrier that i bought in the store, imagining that austin was by my side, asking if i need help or if he could hold one of the twins. i sighed again, causing edwin to look my way. tears started. and i thought i ran out of tears that night. but no...nature still made me let new tears form and fall.

edwin reached out toward me and held my hand, moving my legs so he could sit closer to me. i closed my eyes and felt him rub his thumb across the back of my hand. for a second i felt at peace. and then a kick.

they were more painful now, seeing how my babies grew stronger each day. but for some reason, the pain of their kicks and their movements centered me. it brought me back to earth, making me realize that i wasn't alone...but they also reminded me that their dad wouldn't be there when they saw light for the first time.

"let's go out to dinner, how about that?" edwin asked softly, brushing my hair back and wiping my forehead with a towel he was holding. i shook my head slowly. i just felt like a stupid sack of potatoes on the couch sometimes. and why not stay there if i feel comfortable?

"come on, nick...i thought the babies really liked taco bell," edwin nudged my shoulder with his, and even though that joke used to make me laugh before, it didn't now.

"niiiick...this will _not_ be the rest of your life. and i'll make sure of that. me, brandon and zion will make sure of that. we care about you. we love you. and the people we love won't stay in their houses like a hermit forever." edwin said. i just sat and listened to him, looking down at my stomach. _he was right. but what kept hitting me over and over again, breaking me down, was that i'd never be able to live the rest of my life with my only love._

"why do you want to bring me out there all the time, ed...it's not like he'll be there to walk with me." i sighed again. wordlessly, edwin wrapped his arms around me and hugged me against his chest.

"but no matter what, nick...you won't be alone. not even in the bathroom. he'll be in that heart of yours wherever you go." he reasoned. i sniffed, watching edwin's shoulder as my tears made spots on the fabric of his shirt.

in a minute, edwin stood up and reached his hands out to me. i reluctantly took them, and then he pulled me up slowly.

"we're going to a pet store." he said.

and with that, edwin grabbed my jacket and herded me out the door to his car.

along the way we did get taco bell, and a hint of a smile creeped onto my face when edwin handed me three cool ranch tacos--my favorite order. he smiled as we drove the rest of the way to the pet store.

"which pet store is this?" i asked him, watching as he parked the car in front of a store named 'h.a.p.a.'. next to the acronym, a logo with a dog and a cat caught my eye. _seems legit._

"welcome to the happiness animal rescue alliance, nick." edwin said, getting out of the car and helping me get out too. we walked to the door, and as soon as i stepped in, my small smile turned into a bigger one. everywhere i looked, there were dogs of all kinds either walking around, playing with the workers or sitting and napping.

edwin walked over to an employee and started talking to them, so i decided to sit down on one of the chairs and watch the dogs do their thing. one of them, a small black and white puppy, quickly jumped over to me and barked happily. i laughed and reached down, petting it between its ears and letting it sniff my hand.

"thank you for making me smile," i said softly to the puppy, watching it wag its tail and attempt to jump on the chair with me. i glanced over at edwin, who was walking towards me.

"nick, i gotta show you something." he reached out for my hand and i took it, then after i waved bye to the small puppy, he guided me to a hallway further into the store.

there, an employee was unlocking one of the sections in which dogs rested and used as their temporary homes. she saw me and edwin and waved, gesturing to the open door. i stepped closer to her, my heart beating faster.

in the cube-shaped space lay a light-brown colored dog with adorably pointy ears, a white snout and a furry tail that started wagging as soon as it saw me. the employee--whose nametag read 'charlotte'--took the papers that were taped on the door and put them on a clipboard, ruffling through them before giving them to edwin.

"meet peach, a shiba inu and jindo mix from south korea." charlotte said, placing her hand on peach's head and petting it softly. charlotte explained to us how peach and her two siblings, berry and plum, got rescued. i listened to charlotte's explanation while petting peach, feeling the most relaxed than i have ever felt this whole week. i saw edwin watching me out of the corner of my eye, a smile permanently on his face.

"may i carry her?" i asked charlotte after she finished talking. she nodded, smiling. i moved in front of peach's living space, carefully moving my hands under her front legs and then lifting her up. she started licking my face as soon as she was close enough, making me close my eyes and laugh. and _gosh_ , it felt so good to hear laughter coming from my mouth. i felt lighter, like all this heavy weight was starting to fade away.

i let her head rest on my shoulder while i carried her in my arms, feeling peach's heart beating against mine. i could tell she was really happy because of how her tail kept wagging in my face.

"it seems like you two are hitting it off really well," edwin commented, petting peach while i carried her. i turned to edwin and beamed, rubbing my hand on peach's back.

"it seems like she would be a perfect therapy dog for _anyone_ in this world." i laughed, looking at her again and kissing the top of her head. in return, peach licked my cheek.

"so...what do you think?" i heard charlotte ask. she was turned towards edwin. he nodded, still keeping his eyes on me.

"i think...i knew just the perfect dog for my best friend."

i watched wide-eyed as edwin flipped through the papers charlotte had given him, writing on them with a pen and scanning the text. i tried to look at what was on the paper, but then i realized i didn't have to see them in order to know that edwin was signing the adoption papers.

"ed, what are you doing?" i asked, raising my eyebrows. he looked back at me, pausing from his writing.

"i'm getting you a therapy dog." he said, his tone persistent. i started to shake my head, but looking at peach again made me stop.

"but edwin, i don't--don't pay for peach all by yourself! let me take care of something, at least just one thing. i won't let you pay for peach just by yourself," i said, grabbing for the papers with one hand while my other hand still held peach against my chest.

"nick, i'm not the only person who's paying for peach. she's a gift from me, zion and brandon. and we insist." edwin spoke while he continued to look over the papers and sign where he needed to.

so i shut up. and about an hour later, peach was sitting on my lap while edwin drove me home.

she was a great addition to my life. she brought me back to earth.

and when the day came for angel and carter to come out, i felt better whenever i remembered that peach was at home, waiting for me to come back. i didn't feel so alone anymore.

when i had to go to the hospital, my parents, zion, brandon and edwin were there. when i was giving birth to the twins, edwin held my hand and let me squeeze his fingers to death--twice. i gave the name 'angel' to the first baby i held in my arms.

when the time came to hold both angel and carter at the same time, i cried so hard. this time i wasn't crying because my heart was far from being fixed. i was crying because i had just been given a whole new one, complete with austin and prince angel and princess carter.

at one point, with my huge family around me, i looked at each face in the room. i remembered once again how lucky i was to have this life. 

death had slowed me down, but having angel and carter showed me how to live again. edwin showed me how to get back out into the world. zion and brandon showed me how love followed me everywhere. peach showed me that i did have the strength to be myself again.

and austin continued to show me all of those things combined, for the rest of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys :) this is probably one of my best chapters in this work.
> 
> p.s.: peach is a real dog out there in this world. check her out--maybe even give her a new home <3
> 
> vv  
> https://www.adoptapet.com/pet/26402493-san-francisco-california-shiba-inu-mix


	19. and they were roommates: elom and you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoa surprise surprise ;)
> 
> ***this is specifically for girls who are reading this because i just wanted it to be a oneshot between a boy and a girl...since the scenario would be cuter/more awkward. ;) i've always tried to keep it gender-neutral so i'm sorry if this doesn't live up to your standards.
> 
> or...use your imagination <3

elom.

after all these years of being in high school, experiencing my cringey freshman year, the most difficult junior year...i was finally moving into my college dorm room.

but nothing... _nothing_...prepared me for this.

zion grabbed the last storage container from the trunk of the car, following me into the building and then back to the room. so far we've done three full trips back and forth from the car, and we were finally finished. although i tried not to seem hella tired or else zion would tease me about that.

"your roommate hasn't arrived yet? i thought they'd be here by now." zion said as he put the container on the floor by my bed. i shrugged, brushing my hand through my hair in thought. he was right--me and zion had driven here as soon as we could, and my roommate had texted me that they would be moving in today too.

"at least you were able to put in your stuff first, or else you might not have enough space when they move in all their stuff." zion reasoned. i nodded, kicking one of my clothes boxes into the closet on my side. actually, i didn't even have a closet. my room was a closet itself. i swear to god, if i just spread my arms out wide, and then took two steps to the left or right, i would already hit the wall.

"also, at least you guys have divided rooms." zion stared at the door, which connected me and my roommate's rooms together. it was a dorm room layout that i've never seen before: one where two rooms were permanently joined together with a door.

"okay yeah, but what if it gets too crammed up in here and i wanna open it? i hope they let me because i don't wanna feel all squished, to be honest." i snorted, trying the doorknob to see if it was open...and fell onto the carpet on the other side.

i heard zion's breathy laughter, and then i pushed myself up with my hands. a few seconds passed before i realized that someone was standing in front of me.

a girl.

"um...hello." she spoke, brushing her hair behind her ear. i blinked at her twice and then gulped. _say something. just say something. anything._

"i thought this was the bathroom...?" and i mentally slapped myself. thank god zion was there to quickly throw his arm around my shoulders and speak for me.

"hahaha, elom, that was a good one. sorry, my brother's just a little tired from the drive here." he explained. the girl laughed then, and by laughed i mean she _really laughed._

she had that type of laugh where you immediately knew it was genuine, even if you just met her. and i loved it.

"that's alright...as long as he doesn't 'feel tired from driving' in the middle of the night." she joked. this time zion laughed, and he let go of my shoulders. nudged me with his.

"well i know your name...but i don't know yours." the girl said, still staring at zion.

"his name's zion." i cut in before he could reply. i felt his eyes glaring at me while i continued.

"what's yours?"

"my name's y/n." she said, twirling the bracelet she wore around and around on her wrist. i nodded, gesturing to my brother.

"he was here helping me out in the bedroom--i mean, he helped me clean up stuff in the bedroom so it wouldn't be so messy. i mean--" _smooth, elom. very smooth. very mature, too. you're definitely gonna get her falling for you by the end of the month._

and to my surprise, she genuinely laughed again. i immediately felt like i just ran a marathon...like i just achieved something great. i did. i made her laugh. and i wanted to do it again, even if i sounded dumb while trying. even if that meant zion would be laughing nonstop as soon as i get back into my room and closed the shared door.

"do you need any help to organize some stuff in your room?" zion asked y/n, glancing at mine again. "elom's room is a lost cause right now."

"oh, i mean if you don't mind. i got some photos i gotta pin up on the wall and some lights. something about you tells me that you'd be great at putting up stuff on the ceiling." y/n looked at zion again and smiled. _why couldn't i be as tall as him???_

me and zion stepped into y/n's room, seeing how she had already started fixing her stuff in the closet and the dimensions of the small room. a dark wooden desk sat in the corner while her bed sat along the opposite wall. the desk's decorations were simple: a small potted plant and a photo of what looked to be her and her family.

y/n directed me and zion to where her photos were, telling us where to put them and what order she wanted them in. she put on music while we worked, and pretty soon, we were all singing along to no guidance by drake and chris brown.

every few minutes, i found myself glancing at y/n. her hair was beautiful, just falling on her shoulders in the most perfect way possible. she had one of those kind faces, a face you would never get tired of looking at. a face you would want to wake up to in the morning.

zion had to shove me to get me out of my thoughts. my mind was pretty fuzzy, but i was able to look away for a few seconds.

"damn, boy, it's like you've already fallen in love." zion whispered, snickering.

"oh hell no, zion. jeez, cut me some slack."

but zion could read me like a book. and...he was probably right.

and when everything was organized in her room, zion headed back into mine and started moving the boxes aside. i stood by the doorway with y/n, asking her some question about her decorations just to keep the conversation going as long as possible without trying to waste her time.

"yeah, i actually bought the string lights from urban outfitters." y/n explained, showing me the box the lights came in. i nodded, smiling a little.

"so uh...if you just need any more help, i'm right next door." i said, my hands awkwardly going in my pockets. y/n nodded, smiling back at me.

"thanks elom. you're a really nice guy." y/n said, blushing. _wow, she thinks i'm nice. i need to say something. anything. something that'll show i have the balls to compliment someone back._

"thanks...and you're realy beautiful." i replied, combing my fingers through my hair again. y/n giggled, and then she leaned a little bit closer. i glanced at her lips, then back into her eyes. _was she going in for a kiss?...i really hope so, or else i'm going to look like a total weirdo._

"can i kiss you?" she said softly. _oh my god. my wish came true. this can't be real. this is wayyy too early._ but despite my overwhelming thoughts, i bit my bottom lip, then nodded slowly. _yolo._

"of course." i whispered back.

y/n leaned closer to me, her eyes closed. i reached out and wrapped my arms around her waist, noticing that she was more curvy than i expected. she fit perfectly in my arms, and i wanted to hold her there forever.

i closed my eyes and leaned in, ready to press my lips to hers. as soon as i kissed her, i felt my nose press into her--

\--i mean...my pillowcase.

i blinked in the dark. looked around the room.

i _was_ in my bed, but i wasn't kissing y/n. i'd ended up kissing my pillow like the stupid middle school boy i was before. and my arms were wrapped tightly around the bottom of the pillow. even more sad...i thought i had really got it made with a beautiful girl in my arms. _stop being so sad, elom. what's gotten into you?_

i moved onto my back and laid my head down onto the pillow, remembering what really happened during the day.

zion did help me move into my room. he helped me fix my closet, get my clothes and sheets washed, and he helped me find the dining hall and my classes.

and i _did_ meet my roommate, y/n.

i didn't help her fix her room, nor did i step into it. all i did was accidentally fall through, and when i stood up, we just introduced ourselves and then the door had closed again.

but something about the smile she had when she closed the door...something about her genuine laughter when zion actually covered for me...

...made me think that a future with y/n could be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a short little fluffy chapter between you and elom...because hey, he's zion's brother so you already know _for sure_ that he's cute too.
> 
> p.s. if you know the vine that this title is referencing, you're my new friend. we cannot let tiktok take over the fraction in our brain that still holds iconic vines.


End file.
